I first met my ex-boyfriend while a sophomore in college & he was a senior. We first started as BUDDIES but our relationship quickly blossomed & we had a relationship for nearly 5 years. After graduation & entering the real world of a lack luster job, our relationship began to get very rocky for several reasons. Just before our 5 year mark, I asked for time off. We both were not happy individually or together. I was hoping the time apart would allow us to work on our personal issues & solidify our relationship.
Tag: college
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Roxanne Shante: Coming Clean, Saying Sorry, Being Thankful and Fighting Cancer
Filed under: Music, Health, Magazines and Newspapers
In April, a New York Daily News article about how ’80s rap music pioneer Roxanne Shante forced her record company to finance her college education (resulting in a degree from Marymount Manhattan College and a Ph.D. in psychology from Cornell University) tugged at the heart-strings of Hip Hop America. Soon after, a firestorm of controversy ensued when an article on Slate.com debunked the inspiring story.Roxanne Shante (nee Lolita Shante Gooden) is widely recognized as the first female hip hop artist to break through the male dominated industry. At the age of 16, she became a household name with songs including ‘Roxanne’s Revenge’ – an “answer” record responding to U.T.F.O.’s popular ‘Roxanne, Roxanne.’
She offers Blackvoices.com some insight on the controversy and her very real life battle with breast cancer … in her own words.
In March, I noticed a lump in my left breast, rather small at the time and didn’t really know what I was feeling. So instead of going straight to the doctor’s office, I started asking friends their opinion and trying to go by their experiences. It was such a stupid move. Well, I figured I was just getting older. A hysterectomy in my early thirties led me to believe that I would be fine. Another stupid move.
I let months go by – five months to be exact. The weight loss of over 40 pounds made me feel like, “Damn, this diet is finally working.” But then I remembered I wasn’t on a diet. So on a bright, sunny day in August 2009, I walked into Doshi center for a mammogram. I put on the gown and stepped up to the machine. As soon as the technician took my breast in her hand, she asked me how long had I had the lump. It’s huge, she said. I made a joke, she giggled, but I was scared and angry that I had waited so long.
I was in denial. I event went so far as to ignore the letters sent by the lab that read: “Urgent!!! Please contact us.”
I had gotten a call from the doctor, “I just received your images at my office and they have been trying to reach you for weeks. As soon as you get back to New York, you come to my office. This is your life.”I hung up, turned the phone off, walked out on the set and tried to pretend that the call never happen. But they did. And it showed on my face.
The doctors was a different story, however.
This is how the week went. Headlines: ‘No Ph.D. Roxanne’s Revenge,’ ‘Where are you Roxanne?’
It was the ’80s all over again, but this time not to spark a career but to end over 10 years of charities, pushing education and giving and helping people and not too mention 25 years of hip-hop. But that’s nothing new. What about my children ? My 13-yea-old ? What if I die? So Tuesday another mamo, Wednesday ultrasound Thursday the bad news and then the surgery.
So I felt all eyes were on me to tell women how important it is for them to get checked. It is only by the grace of God that I have been able to survive. I have been blessed to not only have survived the pitfalls of an industry that has destroyed so many, but to also survive just the everyday struggles of surviving all the negative that has come my way . Do I apologize? Yes, I do. But I am not asking for your forgiveness. I am sorry about a lot of things that I should’ve done differently. There were quite a few things that have been exposed with that article; the fact that I never received any royalties, the fact that I did go on to attend college (even if no Ph.D. was acquired), and the fact that at 14 years old and coming straight from the group home, I wRoxanne Shanteent on to create a career that even after 20 years of not making a hit record, was still pulling headlines.
My platform was only telling our young people to educate themselves before getting in this industry, and that your lawyer, accountant, manager and record company shouldn’t all be under one roof or work together. No one ever told me that, so I felt the need to pass that along to our young people.
And now I have another testimony.
To be called Dr. Roxanne Shante was and is a privilege. But with that privilege comes pressure. I also had to live and talk like someone with a doctorate–not an easy task at all. I had to make sure that people felt healed and inspired after speaking with me.
And you know what? I accomplished that every time. But only with God’s help.
So, yes, I apologize to all those who applied themselves and put in all the hard work that is required to acquire a Ph.D. I admire you all. But don’t discredit all the hard work and sacrifices so many others have also done to also reach their goals.
I apologize again but I don’t request your forgiveness, because I have already been forgiven by who matters: God. Sorry I can’t hold my head down because my crown may fall off.
Life begins at 40.
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Higher SAT Scores and Getting Ready for College: Dr Boyce Tips
Filed under: Education
I was asked recently how to prepare for college. I was also asked how to pay for it. Well, what might surprise you is that paying for college and preparing are actually closely related. The better prepared for college your children are, the easier it will be for them to pay for college with scholarships and other financial support. So, rather than spending money on new Air Jordans for your child, spend that money to help them to find a tutor.
Here are four things about getting higher SAT scores and preparing for college that you should keep in mind when dealing with your kids.
1) Good ACT and SAT scores don’t come naturally, you have to prepare. Some people think that you are going to magically end up in college just by saying that you want to go. Some think that you should take the ACT and SAT cold, and that natural intelligence will carry you through. That’s not the case. Your child should prepare for college like it’s a part-time job: studying 2 – 3 hours each day, for several months straight. Yes, that sounds like a lot of work, but is it really very much when compared to the fact that most of our kids are fine with working at McDonald’s for four or five hours a day, or going to football practice for three hours a day after school? Education MUST be the number one priority in your household if you want your children to have a bright future.
2) Make sure your child is taking classes that will truly prepare him/her for college. With the horrific state of the American educational system, the truth is that we can’t trust the system with our children. Making good grades is not enough when it comes to ensuring that your kids are prepared. Make sure that they are taking classes that meet the standards of attending college, and this will reflect itself in higher SAT scores. Check with the university of your choice to ensure that your child is enrolled in the classes necessary to get into that school.
3) Apply to at least 12 universities. The more irons you have in the fire, the more likely it is that one of them is going to get hot. Have your child do one college application every two days for one month. that will give him/her roughly 15 applications to various colleges. You can then find out which schools have needs that match the things your child has to offer, and you should make sure that your ACT and SAT scores are high enough to get into the places you apply. You’ll never know what opportunities are out there unless you apply for them.
4) There should be no use of the word “if” when preparing for college. I hate the fact that there are so many people who are afraid of college or think that it only works for someone else. I teach at a university that charges over $30,000 per year, and I argue that any 10th grader of average intelligence could get a good grade in my class, if they study each day consistently. I don’t care what your SAT scores happen to be, college is not nearly as difficult as some might lead you to believe, and the truth is that it can change your life forever. It certainly changed mine, and I was told that I wasn’t smart enough for college in the first place.
Dr. Boyce Watkins is a professor at Syracuse University and author of the book, “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about College.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered directly to your email, please click here. -
Banks Offer College Saving Deals: Are These The Best Financing Plans?
Filed under: Personal Finance, News, The Economy, Financial Aid
Banks and credit unions are developing new methods of helping families finance college educations. In this economy, families have seen certain accounts set aside for financing education, such as those funded by stock portfolios, steeply decline in value. On top of that, tuition costs at top schools have increased by 62% over the past ten years, cutting sharply into education savings. To help families cope with these trends, “a growing number of financial institutions are rolling out incentives to help families save or pay for higher education,” according to USA Today.
Two examples of these college saving offerings include:
Citizens Bank is giving a $1,000 bonus to consumers who open a college savings account by a child’s sixth birthday. Justice Federal Credit Union – which serves Department of Justice and Homeland Security employees – is offering a discount on a loan to pay for college costs. And Grow Financial Federal Credit Union in Tampa is donating money to student scholarships based on a local university football team’s “return yards,” which is how far players run with the ball after receiving a punt or kick. (USA Today)
A new college saving deal offered by your bank may be the right thing for your family. Yet, financial experts urge consumers to carefully evaluate any college saving incentive. The motive for lending institutions to create these deals is to build better relationships with a future generation of customers. The student of today will need loans for grown-up purchases like houses once a college education is fully financed. Thus a bank’s offering may not necessarily be in your best interest. You will still want to shop around for college savings plans that net you and your student the best deal.
What are some additional ways of saving for and paying for college during tough economic times? State 529 plans are one important tool in a parent’s arsenal for paying for college, and should be explored fully. Please see SmartMoney.com for more great college saving advice.
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Dr. Boyce and Keith Murphy Discuss Economic Empowerment
Filed under: Interviews, Personal Finance, Dr. Boyce Money
In this interview below with the great radio legend Keith Murphy, we discuss the power of high expectations, education and economic empowerment when it comes to dictating your own destiny.
Keith Murphy is the host of “The Urban Journal” on Sirius/XM Satellite. He is a good brother and one of the few people who supported me when nobody knew who in the heck I was. I will always respect him for that.
I told Keith that much of the empowerment process in the African American community comes down to education and economics. If we really push our kids to be their best educationally, that will open a million doors for achievement. It’s not difficult to be a good student: you only have to treat it like a part-time job. If a kid can work 8 hours a day in McDonald’s, that same person can sit and study for 4 hours a day. Any college student who studies 4 hours per day, every day, is going to earn As and Bs in most of his/her classes. It’s really that simple. In fact, most universities give you a “B” in the class just for doing what you’re supposed to do. College is not nearly as difficult as some would like for you to believe.
When it comes to economics, it’s all about a couple of things: learning to save and invest and understanding the foundations of entrepreneurship. My belief, for example, is that every ex-convict who can’t find a job should study entrepreneurship so they can find ways to make money without earning dump wages from someone who doesn’t respect them. If the world rejects you, you have to find a way to still get what you want. It’s possible if you believe.
The interview is below if you’d like to listen. Enjoy!
Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University, a leading African American speaker and author of the forthcoming book, “Black American Money.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here. -
Ex-Foster Child Now $1 Million Scholar
A former foster child overcomes his poverty-stricken past to win more than $1 million in scholarships. In high school Derrius Quarles achieved stellar grades while living on his own. Now a student at Morehouse College, he is still setting his sights high: “I want to show people that I can be all those things people said I could never be.”
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Don’t Let Your Spouse Control All of Your Finances
Filed under: Personal Finance, Dr. Boyce Money
Financial News Blast for the week of September 26, 2009 – Click on the link for the title to read the article on the given topic:
1) Don’t let your spouse control all of the family finances: This is a great article on how the entire family should be involved when making financial decisions for the household. When I wrote my book, “Financial Lovemaking 101,” I noticed that far too many American families are allowing their entire financial future to be controlled by one partner. You should be aware of what’s going on with your money, even if you’re not the one making all the decisions.
2) Harvard Study: A Lack of Health Insurance Causes 45,000 Deaths Each Year: The healthcare reform debate has literally become a matter of life and death. We’ve got to find a way to get this done.3) How to get a home loan with bad credit: Many Americans suffer through credit problems. Where you’ve been doesn’t matter nearly as much as where you’re going. Getting a home loan can open the door to wealth and also create opportunities for you to rebuild your credit. Take a look at this article to find out how.
4) The most lucrative college degrees: Going to college doesn’t guarantee a strong financial future. It’s going to college and choosing the right major that makes all the difference. Make sure you pick the right major for you and your children.
5) Financial illiteracy is an epidemic in the United States: Banks and corporations are certainly predatory in their behavior. But you don’t have to allow yourself to be their prey. You must find a way to obtain basic financial literacy, for a lack of financial literacy was one of the primary causes of the 2008 economic downturn. If this epidemic is not managed, we are going to have serious problems for many decades to come.
Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University, a leading African American speaker and author of the forthcoming book, “Black American Money.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here. -
Is College a Good Investment During a Recession?
Filed under: Personal Finance, Careers, Dr. Boyce Money
I was invited onto “Tell Me More with Michel Martin” to discuss college and whether or not it makes sense to invest in college during an economic downturn such as this one. I have written extensively on the value of going to college, since I argue that education plays a huge part in determining whether you end up being a true player in life or just end up getting played. Black college students must really note the significant impact of attending college, since people of color benefit the most when we get ourselves educated.
Here are some thoughts regarding whether or not college is a good idea during a recession:
1) You must decide if college is a necessity or a luxury item for you. If you are a wealthy kid who can rack up $80,000 in debt to major in Philosophy and Theatre, then God bless you. But just make sure you are aware that the major you choose plays a huge role in your ability to manage debt after graduation. This is not a slap at those who choose majors that don’t have a strong job market, it’s just a reminder to make sure you know what you’re stepping into. Personally, I majored in business, because college was not just my path toward educational enlightenment, it was my way to pay the bills when I got older.
2) Figure out what you hope to get out of college. If you want to simply get a good education and are not worried about the job market very much, then you don’t need an expensive school to do that. Education is what you make of it. I’d rather be a student at a state university who studies 7 hours a day than to be a frat boy at Yale living at the bottom of a beer bottle. The student who studies is going to learn; the one who doesn’t study won’t learn a thing. College is what you make of it. But if your goal is to use the name of your campus to open doors for great job opportunities, then this might justify the cost of an expensive university.
3) Parents, the debt is not all yours. You are getting ready for retirement, your children are young. Pretty soon, they will be earning more money than you. Does it make sense that you’ll spend your golden years paying student loans for an able-bodied adult? Perhaps it’s time for your children to learn how to take care of you? They will never learn to be financially independent if you don’t teach them. Allowing your child to manage some of his/her student loan debt doesn’t make you into a bad parent. You got them to age 18 in one piece, some would say that you’ve done enough.
4) Grad school anyone? Some majors require additional education for you to be competitive in that particular market, some do not. Think through this carefully when deciding if you want to make the massive investment of going to graduate school. I believe that an MBA is usually worth the investment, while a masters in Anthropology may not always get you the job you’re seeking. But outcomes can vary depending on the major, and you should do your homework.
5) Education gives you job security. One thing that many autoworkers learned during the recent economic downturn is that having a good job with little education makes you highly vulnerable to economic flucuations. African Americans were the hardest hit during the recession, and many of us lost our jobs when the auto industry tanked. Even if you earn a lot of money, you should never stop believing that additional education doesn’t have value for you. You don’t want your financial future to be in the hands of someone else.
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Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and author of “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about College.” To have Dr. Boyce Commentary delivered to your email, please click here.