Tag: someone

  • 8 Considerations in Selecting a Yoga Retreat

    Congratulations! You are considering a yoga retreat. You have allocated the time and money and are committed to a meaningful experience. Other than someone else’s opinion, how do you know what to expect from your upcoming yoga retreat? We think a little f…

  • NBA Star Antoine Walker is Broke: Five Lessons We can Learn

    Filed under: ,

    When I went to The University of Kentucky with Antoine Walker during the 1990s, we all knew he was going to be a star. He was headed for great things and would represent his family well. No one would have guessed that he would one day become the poster child for what NOT to do when you earn $110 million dollars.

    Antoine is busted, or as my friends would say, “broker than the 10 commandments.” He was recently arrested for not paying $800,000 in gambling debts he owed to a Vegas casino, and that’s when the financial roaches started coming out of the closet.

    In the midst of Antoine’s situation, we can all learn lessons. I thought I’d lay out a few for us to consider:

    1) Watch who you allow to handle your dough. It might sound good to say that you have an accountant, but the truth is that you are always vulnerable when someone is doing things with your money that you do not understand. Additionally, allowing friends and relatives to have access to your financial accounts is a very bad idea. While I have major issues with Bill Cosby, I was always impressed by the fact that he takes care of his own money. Also, one of the sad realities of NBA athletes is that most of them were not properly educated during college, given wimpy little majors that didn’t interfere with their athletics schedules, so some of them are unprepared to protect the wealth they work so hard to earn. Get an education- you’re going to need it.

    2) Don’t judge Antoine Walker harshly, this can happen to anyone. Going broke or going to jail is not just something that happens to bad or irresponsible people. The same is true for a gambling addiction. While we are tempted to attack Antoine Walker for his situation, the truth of the matter is that gambling problems impact hundreds of thousands of people every year: Campuses are being overrun by TV poker challenges and other seemingly harmless, yet financially devastating temptations. If you don’t yet have a gambling problem, be careful not to start one. That’s an easy way to go broke.

    3) Stay away from the vices: Drugs, gambling or other costly addictions have led to the financial downfall of many people. In addition to gambling, other vices such as drugs or alcohol can accelerate your path to the poor house. What’s worse is that the temptation to engage in these activities is greater when you have more money to burn. NBA and NFL stars are still quite young, and the idea of giving a 22-year old $10 million dollars a year is a scary thing. Even I would have made terrible mistakes if I’d received that much money so early in life. If you are in a relationship with someone who regularly engages in any of these bad habits, you might want to reconsider that relationship. It can cause you a great deal of trouble later on down the road.

    4) Show your love, but put a cap on it: Antoine Walker has shown himself to be a generous man, giving to children and taking care of relatives. The problem is that it’s difficult for anyone to be a one-man welfare machine. I only call it welfare when someone is asking for something for nothing. I find that it is more productive to ask for something before you give something away; put the relative to work on productive activities that will help save you money. It will make both of you feel better in the end. Also, budget your charity to ensure that you don’t go overboard in your giving. Typically, those who are asking you for money today won’t be anywhere around when you are having financial problems.

    5) Watch how hard you bling: While “blinging” and “balling” might be incredibly tempting, you should limit the number of status symbols you acquire in order to show your wealth. Antoine Walker has always loved to “do it big,” renting limos for every occasion and not wearing the same suit twice during the playoffs. While he gets a lot of points in style, the truth is that such financial extravagance is not only financially draining, it also makes you a big target. Years ago, when Antoine was robbed of several thousand dollars during a trip to Chicago (and again later at his home in Miami), we can probably assume that the robbers knew they were coming after a wealthy victim.

    I am not here to attack Antoine Walker. Instead, my goal is to make his challenges into a true teachable moment. The old model of the black athlete getting rich, staying uneducated, balling out of control and going broke has absolutely got to change. We must aim for something better.

    Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and author of the forthcoming book, “Black American Money.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.

     

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  • Antoine Walker is Broke: Five Lessons We can Learn

    Filed under: ,

    When I went to The University of Kentucky with Antoine Walker during the 1990s, we all knew he was going to be a star. He was headed for great things and would represent his family well. No one would have guessed that he would one day become the poster child for what NOT to do when you earn $110 million dollars.

    Antoine is busted, or as my friends would say, “broker than the 10 commandments.” He was recently arrested for not paying $800,000 in gambling debts he owed to a Vegas casino, and that’s when the financial roaches started coming out of the closet.

    In the midst of Antoine’s situation, we can all learn lessons. I thought I’d lay out a few for us to consider:

    1) Watch who you allow to handle your dough. It might sound good to say that you have an accountant, but the truth is that you are always vulnerable when someone is doing things with your money that you do not understand. Additionally, allowing friends and relatives to have access to your financial accounts is a very bad idea. While I have major issues with Bill Cosby, I was always impressed by the fact that he takes care of his own money. Also, one of the sad realities of NBA athletes is that most of them were not properly educated during college, given wimpy little majors that didn’t interfere with their athletics schedules, so some of them are unprepared to protect the wealth they work so hard to earn. Get an education- you’re going to need it.

    2) Don’t judge Antoine Walker harshly, this can happen to anyone. Going broke or going to jail is not just something that happens to bad or irresponsible people. The same is true for a gambling addiction. While we are tempted to attack Antoine Walker for his situation, the truth of the matter is that gambling problems impact hundreds of thousands of people every year: Campuses are being overrun by TV poker challenges and other seemingly harmless, yet financially devastating temptations. If you don’t yet have a gambling problem, be careful not to start one. That’s an easy way to go broke.

    3) Stay away from the vices: Drugs, gambling or other costly addictions have led to the financial downfall of many people. In addition to gambling, other vices such as drugs or alcohol can accelerate your path to the poor house. What’s worse is that the temptation to engage in these activities is greater when you have more money to burn. NBA and NFL stars are still quite young, and the idea of giving a 22-year old $10 million dollars a year is a scary thing. Even I would have made terrible mistakes if I’d received that much money so early in life. If you are in a relationship with someone who regularly engages in any of these bad habits, you might want to reconsider that relationship. It can cause you a great deal of trouble later on down the road.

    4) Show your love, but put a cap on it: Antoine Walker has shown himself to be a generous man, giving to children and taking care of relatives. The problem is that it’s difficult for anyone to be a one-man welfare machine. I only call it welfare when someone is asking for something for nothing. I find that it is more productive to ask for something before you give something away; put the relative to work on productive activities that will help save you money. It will make both of you feel better in the end. Also, budget your charity to ensure that you don’t go overboard in your giving. Typically, those who are asking you for money today won’t be anywhere around when you are having financial problems.

    5) Watch how hard you bling: While “blinging” and “balling” might be incredibly tempting, you should limit the number of status symbols you acquire in order to show your wealth. Antoine Walker has always loved to “do it big,” renting limos for every occasion and not wearing the same suit twice during the playoffs. While he gets a lot of points in style, the truth is that such financial extravagance is not only financially draining, it also makes you a big target. Years ago, when Antoine was robbed of several thousand dollars during a trip to Chicago (and again later at his home in Miami), we can probably assume that the robbers knew they were coming after a wealthy victim.

    I am not here to attack Antoine Walker. Instead, my goal is to make his challenges into a true teachable moment. The old model of the black athlete getting rich, staying uneducated, balling out of control and going broke has absolutely got to change. We must aim for something better.

    Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and author of the forthcoming book, “Black American Money.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.

     

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  • Secretary Causes Pepsico to lose $1.2 Billion Dollar Lawsuit

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    It’s not easy to work for me: I can be demanding, overly focused and intense about everything I do. I believe that reaching extraordinary goals requires you to always put forth extraordinary effort. Many interns have come and gone, after realizing that they can’t keep up with our crazy pace. The ones who make it through the storm become invaluable parts of my family; like body parts or internal organs. I truly can’t live without them.

    That is why I cringed when I saw the recent story about how Pepsico lost a $1.26 Billion dollar judgment because the secretary forgot to pass the paperwork onto the appropriate people. As a result, the company lost the lawsuit on a default judgment for failing to appear in court.

    Apparently, it was a simple oversight that could have happened to anyone. But I am sure that the secretary is in hot water and probably even fired. Cases like this are reminders of some important principles you should remember when you are in business for yourself or working for another person.

    1) Trust is everything. For me, trust starts on the first day of the job interview. If someone arrives late, that means that I can’t even trust them to get to meetings on time. If I can’t trust you to get to meetings on time, then there is no way on earth that I am going to trust you with a valuable contract. Consistency builds trust. You must always find a way to be consistent when working with or working for other people.

    2) You are only as good as the people who represent you. This statement implies two things: That you should get good people around you and that you should respect those who work for you. Hiring lazy relatives or friends who aren’t disciplined enough to do the job is a recipe for disaster. I have plenty of friends with whom I have good relationships, but I would never do business with them because I know that some of them are unreliable. Those who I choose to be part of my team are not reminded that I am the “big boss.” Instead, I let them know that I am in charge, while showing appreciation for their efforts every chance I get. Being respectful of others is how you truly earn respect without having to step on people in order to maintain power. If you rule with an iron fist, your subordinates will eventually plot to destroy you.

    3) Excuses need not apply. There are two types of people in this world: those who deliver excuses and those who deliver results. All of us run into obstacles, but the most effective people are the ones who find a way around those obstacles to get the job done. Those who regularly deliver a basket of excuses to somehow exclude them from their assignment are going to be replaced by someone who simply gets the job done. The truth is that in the world of business, even if you have a good excuse, the client is going to still take their business away from you. That’s just the truth.

    4) Learn to forgive. My most trusted partners and subordinates have made horrible mistakes and cost me money in the process. While my first temptation was to raise the fire of hell, I realized early on that this was not the best long-term solution. Instead, I simply ate the loss and assertively pursued a joint remedy for the problem at hand. Having power doesn’t mean that brute force tactics are always the best strategy. You might lose someone valuable if you don’t know when to show compassion. A good employee already feels bad enough about their mistake; you don’t have to rub it in further.

    I am not sure how Pepsico is handling the situation with the secretary, since some excuses are simply unforgivable. But while we can all understand being outraged by losing a billion dollars, we should also know not to sweat the small stuff.

    Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and a leading African American keynote speaker. To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.

     

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  • Maybe You Should Re-Think Sex With An Ex

    Posted by: BlogXilla

    Having sexual relations with someone who you are no longer with, usually sounds like it is not such a good idea. Since that person is indeed in the past, it kind of gives you the sense that you are moving backwards, even if it is just for intercourse. Anyone you have had some kind of history with, complicated or not, will make it almost impossible to not re hatch these feelings during some late night rendezvous. I know I may get a backlash for this, but women, we know that along with sex there are times we also develop an attachment and/or emotion with that person we have chose to bring back in our bedroom. Now add an EX into the equation, and it further complicates things. Which is ironic, because “X” in mathematical terms, means nothing, so when it comes to sex, why does the X mean so much?

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  • Down But Not Out

    If you find yourself in need, or someone you know is in need of home, career, or health assistance, check out this roundup of low-cost and free programs that could be your lifeline.

  • LeBron mad at Browns’ Edwards for fight (AP)

    Cleveland Browns wide receiver Braylon Edwards(notes) (17) jousts with cornerback Brandon McDonald(notes) (22) during warmups before an NFL football game against the Cleveland Browns Sunday, Oct. 4, 2009, in Cleveland. Browns coach Eric Mangini said he has spoken with wide receiver Braylon Edwards about an alleged fight outside a Cleveland nightclub Monday morning. The Cleveland Plain Dealer reported that a 28-year-old man accused Edwards of punching him in the face following an argument.

    Braylon Edwards was fighting mad Sunday, exchanging a few blows with one of Cincinnati's massive defensive linemen. Later, Cleveland's contentious wide receiver allegedly took a swing at someone much smaller but with a towering, more famous friend: LeBron James. And the King isn't happy about it.

  • Financial Lovemaking: Who Keeps the Ring if the Engagement is Called Off?

    Filed under: ,

    This video below answers an important question that many of us may end up confronting at some point in our lives: If you are engaged to be married and the engagement doesn’t work out, do you have to give the ring back? The answer is “yes” and “no,” depending on the state in which you live.

    There are other questions about nuptials that make you say “hmmmm?”
    1) If you give a gift to someone who has gotten married, do they get to keep the gift if they either cancel the wedding or get divorced shortly thereafter?

    2) Is it tacky to specify that your gift is conditional, meaning that you’re going to take it back if the wedding doesn’t happen or the marriage ends too quickly?

    3) What if you spend a wad of cash attending someone’s wedding, only to find that the bride and groom get cold feet? Do they owe you a refund?

    4) Does possession of the ring depend upon who called off the wedding? For example, if the prospective groom calls off the wedding, should he then be obligated to give up the ring too?

    Christopher Chestnut, a prominent attorney out of Florida, states that ” Marital law is state specific, thus law governing marriage and divorce differ depending upon the state. However, in many states an engagement ring is considered a gift, consequently, a legal claim for return of a ring is likely to be unsuccessful.”

    I’d love to hear your stories and take on this issue, but here is a quick run down on my own thoughts:

    -Yes, it is tacky to specify a wedding gift as being conditional upon going through with the ceremony. If you are worried about losing your money, then don’t buy an expensive gift.

    – A gentleman would not ask for his ring back if the engagement is called off, but a true lady would not try to keep the ring either. Think carefully about the integrity of the person you choose to marry. If you are the one who calls off the engagement, then you are effectively the one who is in breach of the contract, which then specifies that you should arguably be the person who takes the loss. To share a personal experience, I was once engaged to an amazing and beautiful woman, and when the engagement was mutually called off, the loss of our love far outweighed the value of any simple piece of jewelry. She gave me the ring back, but I didn’t even think to ask for it. This was a reflection of her character.

    – When it comes to traveling for another person’s wedding, everyone is taking a risk. The cost is high and you aren’t likely to get your money back. If the person is a good friend, just write off the financial loss as the cost of preserving your friendship.

    In the video below, an attorney breaks down the legalities of rings and marriages. Enjoy!

    Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and author of “Financial Lovemaking 101: Merging Assets with Your Partner in Ways that Feel Good.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.

     

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  • Wake up, ladies…

    Posted by: Ashley Dupre

    Wow. Talk about outrage. Although many people agreed with my point of view regarding the socially acceptable ways women prostitute themselves, it looks like the haters are still out in full force and twisting my words around (I saw in the NY Post that even a few of the cast members of the Real Housewives of New Jersey chimed in – why so sensitive? Does the truth sting a bit too much?).

    I even had a nut job chase me down on the street this weekend while walking my dogs – she followed me home, screaming and cursing at me the entire time, threatening me, and she had much of it recorded on her iPhone (can’t wait to see that terrifying experience posted somewhere).  So, let me clarify a few things so you call understand. I wasn’t saying “all women” use men for money – I said many, to varying degrees, do.  Whether it’s dating in exchange for jewelry and clothes, or being in a loveless relationship with someone you’re not attracted to simply for the sake of having financial security, it all comes down to compromising yourself in exchange for being taken care of by a man. This is ingrained in us as little girls – find a prince, find a rich man to marry, date someone with the means to care for you.

    I don’t endorse any of these types of relationships and believe that the only healthy relationship is one in which there is love, mutual respect, attraction and friendship (I really hope to find that for myself one day).  But just be honest about what’s worse here – the woman who is deceiving men into thinking they’re in love so they can cash in, the woman who sacrifices her life in a meaningless relationship because she is complacent and too afraid to leave the money to search for something more meaningful, or the “prostitute” who doesn’t pull any punches and is honest about her expectation of receiving financial consideration for sex (at least that’s honest and everyone’s expectations are clear).  I’m not certain one is any better or more ethical than the other – but I do know that each one is unhealthy – and if you’re labeling one of them a “prostitute,” then be honest and call all of them prostitutes. 

    A trophy wife who doesn’t truly love her husband is like being a prostitute on payroll, and a gold digger is like a prostitute who accepts payment in the form of merchandise instead of cash.

    Wake up, ladies.

  • Dr. Boyce Talks Money and Sex on ABC News

    Filed under: ,

    I recently appeared on ABC News to talk about Financial Lovemaking, and the link between sex and money. I’ve discussed relationships and money several times on AOL in the past, but I think that I should quickly lay out some very interesting similarities that may not have crossed your mind. As I teach my Personal Finance Class at Syracuse University this semester, I am reminded that managing our money is linked to managing our love, which is critical to the ultimate goal of effectively managing our lives.

    1) Many people think about both sex and money every single day. Don’t lie, you know you enjoy thinking about sex, even if you aren’t getting any. But chances are, you also think about money, whether it’s figuring out how to get what you need or how to keep what you’ve got. Even most rappers spend all their time talking about either sex, money or how they use their money to get more sex. It’s actually a universal concept.

    2) Both sex and money can make you feel good. If I wrote you a check for a million dollars, you’d probably end up having a good day. If I offered you the sexiest person you could think of to do as you wish, you might have an even better day. Both sex and money have the effect of giving us a natural high that leads to human beings spending their lives obsessed with obtaining both commodities.

    3) Both sex and money can devastate you if you are irresponsible. Promiscuous sex can lead to a life of disease and drama. Promiscuous spending can lead to a life of financial turmoil. Both sex and money, being the powerful drugs that they are, should be managed with both responsibility and moderation. They are both meant to be enjoyed, but not meant to be abused.

    4) It’s scary to share either one of them with another party. Your body is valuable, so you don’t want to share it with the wrong person. Your money is valuable too, so the same logic applies. Sharing your financial or sex life with the wrong person can lead to years of regret. Emotional, physical and financial investments are all quite risky.

    5) Both sex and money require trust if you are engaged with another person. I’ve heard women talk about financial betrayal by their partners in the same context as emotional betrayal. If you trust someone with your money, you are trusting them with your life. The same is true when it comes to trusting them with your body.

    6) It’s no fun to share either your sex or your money with someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing. Sex is better with someone who knows how to do it right. Well, sharing your financial future with someone who knows what they’re doing can actually lead to dramatic improvements in your quality of life. So, when you consider how good a person looks or how great they make you feel, also consider how great they can make you feel in the long run by providing both financial and emotional security, which can effectively be the same thing.

    7) One is often used to obtain the other. On average, guys with more money get more sexual opportunities and those who give good sex could use it to get their bills paid if they wanted to (Come on, let’s be honest here – what’s the oldest profession in the world again?). There are biological reasons that men with greater access to resources tend to make better mating options for women. The rapper Ludacris noticed how he suddenly went from “ah-ight” to “handsome” when he started to make money. That’s to be expected.

    In the episode of ABC News below, we talk about these links between sex and money in more detail. Enjoy!

    Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and author of “Financial Lovemaking 101: Merging Assets with Your Partner in Ways that Feel Good.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.

     

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  • Can Dating Standards Be “Too” High?


    Everyone must have standards. Your standards become the criteria used to compare the men or women that come into your life to see if they measure up. If you don’t have standards, you’ll risk becoming involved with married or other emotionally unavailable sorts. You also risk developing an attachment to someone that you know is totally wrong for you.

  • Side Hustle

    If your nine-to-five is not your dream career and/or you are not earning the kind of money you want to make, then consider getting a side hustle.

    For extra money

    There are several ways to make extra money without burning out. You could sell your old textbooks on Amazon, or sell just about anything on eBay or iOffer. You can baby-sit your neighbors kids, walk dogs, or do some free lance writing. If you enjoy parties and/or weddings, look into becoming a wedding or event planner on the side. You could be a research assistant, a secret shopper, or conduct online surveys for extra cash. Become a class instructor at your gym or teach a class at the community college (my brother-in-law easily obtained a side gig with the University of Phoenix.) Check Craig’s List in your city for several part-time, work from home, easy and very manageable money making hustles. However, beware of scams on Craig’s List and don’t ever pay anyone upfront for a job or give them any accounts information.

    Launching your dream career

    If you already have a side hustle that is your passion, consider taking it to the next level and making it your dream career. Whether it’s writing, web-designing, event planning, fashion, or throwing parties it can become your main money making gig if you take your vision to the next level. Start with creating a plan. Definitely do not quit your day job until you have an exit strategy. Write down the goals you must accomplish before you quit your full-time job, whether it’s a specific amount of money your side hustle must generate or a certain number of clients you must have. Next, write down the steps required for achieving those goals. Talk it over with colleagues or people who are already doing what you want to do. You might even want to invest in a book about how to start your own business. If you are getting a regular paycheck, then invest all the profits from your side hustle into the business. Buy supplies, create marketing materials, and put the rest in the bank.

    In order to maximize your time and energy, shift your priorities and think of your full-time job as the gig on the side. When you switch your perspective you will be able to focus most of your energy on growing your new business. Use your vacation days to meet with potential clients, or get ahead with your planning. Success takes sacrifice, the Bahamas will still be there next year. If your days don’t seem long enough, consider getting up early or staying up late to work on your side hustle. During your lunch hour you can return client calls on your cell phone or do some research. Be careful using your full-time job’s computer, phone, or fax machine. Remain professional by keeping your jobs as separate as possible.

    To boost your clientele, work on marketing your business. Be sure to bring up your endeavors with your friends and family. Even if you don’t think they have a need for your product, they most certainly will know someone (who knows someone who knows someone) who would be interested. Spread the word! A key element of hustling is networking, so use your professional networking skills to advance your side hustle. Whatever you do, don’t give up. I know several people, including my wedding photographer, who have turned their side hustle into a successful dream career. YouTube and Facebook were both side hustles at one point…and look at them now. The proof is in the passion and persistence. You can do it.

    If you are a female YBP who knows how to make some extra cash on the side, you should submit the details of your business to Essence Magazine’s: Side Hustle column. You could get a free plug in one of the best Magazine publications for African American Women. And for those of you looking for a Side Hustle, pick up a copy of Essence today. You might find a way to cash in on your skills. Recently Essence has profiled many women who have walked away from their corporate jobs to pursue their side hustle full time.