Black Man Black Woman

Tag: Life

  • Tom Joyner Morning Show, Roland Martin, Money and Power

    This morning I had the great pleasure of having a conversation with my respected colleagues, Tom Joyner and Roland S. Martin. I have always loved the Tom Joyner Morning Show. My respect for Tom came when I found out that he once commuted daily between Chicago and Dallas in order to host shows in both cities. I appreciate anyone willing to sacrifice to reach their goals. Roland Martin has an equally compelling story about how he was forced into bankruptcy in order to become successful.

    The truth is that there are a whole bunch of people who want success, but they usually want it for free. These brothers understand that you usually have to pay a high price to get what you want.

    We were discussing the case of Heather Ellis. Heather Ellis is a 24-year old college student now facing 15-years in prison after being accused of cutting line at a Walmart. We are planning a rally for Heather in Kennett, MO on November 16, with thousands coming from around the nation in order to save her life. Tom Joyner, Roland Martin, and Michael Baisden are just a few of the names of brothers and sisters around the nation willing to step up to tell Heather’s story to the public.

    After the show was done, I called my assistant and confidant Shauntay, in order to talk about the events planned for the day. Shauntay is a stern reminder to me that you are only as good as the people who work for you, and she is the greatest assistant on Earth. During our conversation, Shauntay asked me, “Did you notice how they seemed to get nervous and rush you off at the end?”

    I said, “Yeah, I noticed that. But I don’t blame them, I might have done the same thing.”

    Why was I rushed off at the end of the segment? It all has to do with Walmart being one of the key corporate sponsors for the Tom Joyner Morning Show. During the interview, I first mentioned that it was reported as far away as Memphis that Walmart employees were being asked not to discuss the Heather Ellis incident. Tom started to deflect the conversation away from the merchant.

    “Well, that could have happened in any store, right?” said Tom.

    I then went on to explain that, while it could have happened in any store, there was no getting away from the fact that it happened in Walmart: A Walmart employee was the one who chose not to serve Heather after accusing her of cutting line, the family reports that nearly every Walmart employee involved in the incident has been transferred to another store, and there are Walmart employees on the affidavits filed after the incident took place. There is no way to disconnect Walmart from this incident.

    Unlike our supporters in Detroit, who are ready to boycott Walmart and stage a complete “black out” of the store, I have not asked for such a thing. Instead, I’ve only requested that Walmart use its influence to help Heather during her trial. I honestly believe that one sincere phone call from the right executive can make this situation go away. A daughter of a pastor, in college, with no criminal record is hardly the kind of thug that should be rotting away in the penitentiary. Anyone can understand that.

    This discussion of The Tom Joyner Morning Show is not a negative reflection on the righteousness of Tom Joyner or his choice of having Walmart as a corporate sponsor (if it were Wells Fargo, then we might have an issue). The incident is reflective of how the power of media is driven by corporate sponsorship. Given that corporate sponsors controlled by the descendants of the historical oppressors of black people are financing most African-American media, the ability to pursue true and meaningful activism is sometimes muted. In other words, nobody disrespects their daddy, especially if their daddy is the one putting food on the table. The life of one black woman is not, to some, worth the loss of millions of dollars in corporate money (I do not agree with this assessment). One of the limitations of capitalism is that it forces us to put a dollar value on human life. I personally think human life has infinite value, and that is why I am fighting for Heather.

  • Steve Harvey: His New Wife is the Woman Who Changed His Life

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    Steve Harvey: His New Wife Is the Woman That Changed His Life
    Steve Harvey     is a changed man – and that’s largely due to the new lady in his life.

    But when it comes to his third wife, Marjorie Bridges Harvey, whom he married in June 2007, she’s not new at all. The pair met 17 years ago and dated briefly. And although the popular comedian, top-rated radio personality and best-selling author first saw the hazel-eyed beauty during a comedy club appearance in Memphis, where he declared that she would be his wife, both parties went on to build separate families.

    But they didn’t live happily ever after with their respective former spouses.

    Steve and Marjorie open up to best-selling author Denene Milner about their rekindled love and newfound happiness in the December edition of Essence magazine, which officially arrives on newsstands Nov. 12.
    Steve Harvey Act Like
    “You’re looking at two people who were messing up for real and making bad decisions without conferring with God,” he shared. “But the fact that you can mess up that many times and still come out okay is a testament to just the grace and mercy of God, man. He took us all the way around the block, halfway around the world, and we got back to each other.”

    The missus, who has three children from her previous marriage, told a candid story about how one of ‘The Original Kings of Comedy’ almost let her slip through his fingers after reconnecting; one night, he accepted a phone call from another woman in front of her.

    “I was just at a point where I was like, ‘If what you want is the same thing as what I want, then great. But if it’s not, it doesn’t make you wrong and me right or vice versa. It just means we’re not in the same place,’” she recalled. “What I’m not going to do is sit here and be in something where I’m not happy and not getting what I want. I wasn’t afraid to walk away.”

    Harvey snapped into shape in short order. He made a commitment and rose to the occasion.

    Two years later, the two are still going strong.

    “I mean, there’s not two days that go by when one of us doesn’t look at the other and say, ‘Man, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me in my entire life,’” he said.

     

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  • ‘The Wire’ Becomes A Class At Harvard

    Posted by: KanYeezy

    ‘THE Wire,” HBO’s gritty series about life in the Baltimore ghetto, is about to become a course at Harvard.

    The announcement came at a panel discussion at the school featuring several of the show’s stars, according to the Harvard student newspaper, The Crimson.

    The class will be taught by sociology professor William J. Wilson, one of the best-known African American history professors in the country, who has made no secret of the fact that he is a huge fan of the show.

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  • Audio: Curtis Talks Beans/Jay-Z & Album Leak

    Posted by: nahright.com

    [0:55-1:10] I’m pushing the record up, it’ll be out on the 16th. I’m expecting it to do good because of the response I’ve heard on the web.
    [12:10] I feel good that it was leaked in its entirety, in sequence. So people can hear my vision.

    [3:35-4:00] [What’s your take on the Beanie Sigel/Jay-Z?] That whole sh*t is a mess. I understand where his frustration comes from, because there was a point where— He would’ve had a serious check…

    [6:15-7:10] A lot of the times when I say Jay is a cool punk, don’t get it f*cked up, he’s a smart guy. You can’t take away from him what he’s done in the actual business and in the game. But since he lost to Nas, he hasn’t competed… Everytime somebody came, Beans went out in the front with Jadakiss. He had the Cam’ron issues. Then when Cam’ron came back and it was issues again, the Tru-Life deal was signed. And when Tru-Life got into an altercation with him, that one stopped. That’s what stopped the Cam beef.

    [8:05-9:00] [Do you feel like that Beanie Sigel has some legitimate complaints for Jay-Z?] I think he did have legitimate complaints because of my choices. Like— When they tell me you was giving the n*gga $1250? [Silence.] A group? [Silence.] A motherf*cker can’t even afford no p*ssy with $1250. [Laughs.] These n*ggas is staying in nice hotels. If a b*tch order room service twice, you’re done. [Laughs.] You know what it is, it’s traditional business. My business model comes from the curb so I’ma take care of my n*ggas a little different, cuz they my people.

    zShare: Curtis Calls Gomez Bros (10/31/09) [17min]

     

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  • Roxanne Shante: Coming Clean, Saying Sorry, Being Thankful and Fighting Cancer

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    Roxanne Shante: Coming Clean, Saying Sorry, Being Thankful and Fighting Cancer

    In April, a New York Daily News article about how ’80s rap music pioneer Roxanne Shante forced her record company to finance her college education (resulting in a degree from Marymount Manhattan College and a Ph.D. in psychology from Cornell University) tugged at the heart-strings of Hip Hop America. Soon after, a firestorm of controversy ensued when an article on Slate.com debunked the inspiring story.

    Roxanne Shante (nee Lolita Shante Gooden) is widely recognized as the first female hip hop artist to break through the male dominated industry. At the age of 16, she became a household name with songs including ‘Roxanne’s Revenge’ – an “answer” record responding to U.T.F.O.’s popular ‘Roxanne, Roxanne.’

    She offers Blackvoices.com some insight on the controversy and her very real life battle with breast cancer … in her own words.

    In March, I noticed a lump in my left breast, rather small at the time and didn’t really know what I was feeling. So instead of going straight to the doctor’s office, I started asking friends their opinion and trying to go by their experiences. It was such a stupid move. Well, I figured I was just getting older. A hysterectomy in my early thirties led me to believe that I would be fine. Another stupid move.

    I let months go by – five months to be exact. The weight loss of over 40 pounds made me feel like, “Damn, this diet is finally working.” But then I remembered I wasn’t on a diet. So on a bright, sunny day in August 2009, I walked into Doshi center for a mammogram. I put on the gown and stepped up to the machine. As soon as the technician took my breast in her hand, she asked me how long had I had the lump. It’s huge, she said. I made a joke, she giggled, but I was scared and angry that I had waited so long.

    I was in denial. I event went so far as to ignore the letters sent by the lab that read: “Urgent!!! Please contact us.”
    I had gotten a call from the doctor, “I just received your images at my office and they have been trying to reach you for weeks. As soon as you get back to New York, you come to my office. This is your life.”

    I hung up, turned the phone off, walked out on the set and tried to pretend that the call never happen. But they did. And it showed on my face.

    The doctors was a different story, however.

    This is how the week went. Headlines: ‘No Ph.D. Roxanne’s Revenge,’ ‘Where are you Roxanne?’

    It was the ’80s all over again, but this time not to spark a career but to end over 10 years of charities, pushing education and giving and helping people and not too mention 25 years of hip-hop. But that’s nothing new. What about my children ? My 13-yea-old ? What if I die? So Tuesday another mamo, Wednesday ultrasound Thursday the bad news and then the surgery.

    So I felt all eyes were on me to tell women how important it is for them to get checked. It is only by the grace of God that I have been able to survive. I have been blessed to not only have survived the pitfalls of an industry that has destroyed so many, but to also survive just the everyday struggles of surviving all the negative that has come my way .

    Do I apologize? Yes, I do. But I am not asking for your forgiveness. I am sorry about a lot of things that I should’ve done differently. There were quite a few things that have been exposed with that article; the fact that I never received any royalties, the fact that I did go on to attend college (even if no Ph.D. was acquired), and the fact that at 14 years old and coming straight from the group home, I wRoxanne Shanteent on to create a career that even after 20 years of not making a hit record, was still pulling headlines.

    My platform was only telling our young people to educate themselves before getting in this industry, and that your lawyer, accountant, manager and record company shouldn’t all be under one roof or work together. No one ever told me that, so I felt the need to pass that along to our young people.

    And now I have another testimony.

    To be called Dr. Roxanne Shante was and is a privilege. But with that privilege comes pressure. I also had to live and talk like someone with a doctorate–not an easy task at all. I had to make sure that people felt healed and inspired after speaking with me.

    And you know what? I accomplished that every time. But only with God’s help.

    So, yes, I apologize to all those who applied themselves and put in all the hard work that is required to acquire a Ph.D. I admire you all. But don’t discredit all the hard work and sacrifices so many others have also done to also reach their goals.

    I apologize again but I don’t request your forgiveness, because I have already been forgiven by who matters: God. Sorry I can’t hold my head down because my crown may fall off.

    Life begins at 40.

     

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  • Professional Women and their Love Lives: Money and Matrimony Sometimes Conflict

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    I have become obsessed recently with trying to figure out how successful black women find a way to get it all done. Now, by “successful,” I’m not referring to the woman who works 70 hours a week while seeing all of her relationships die in the process. I am referring to the women who do some of the most important jobs in our society (nurturing children and maintaining their relationships) while finding success in their professional lives. Call me old fashioned, but I think that there is no job in the world more important than being a mother.

    This week on Financial Lovemaking, S. Tia Brown and I speak with Dr. Towanna Freeman, a life coach and women’s empowerment guru, about what it takes to maintain love, life and everything in between. We ask Towanna the hard questions about her business and her family and try to determine the formula for keeping it real and keeping it realistic.

    One thing that Towanna makes clear is that you don’t have to be perfect to be happy. She also reminds us that successful people are not successful all the time. The key is having the right mindset and always striving for success, whether you are feeling successful or not. I can personally say that I fail at roughly 90 percent of everything I do: But it’s striving for that last 10 percent which helps to set me apart.

    The interview with Towanna is below. Enjoy!

    Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and author of the book, “Financial Lovemaking 101: Merging Assets with Your Partner in Ways that Feel Good.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.

     

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  • Mistakes Couples Make When Mixing Love and Money Together

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    As I prepare for an appearance on ABC News to talk about money and relationships, I thought I would share the answers to some of my questions that were asked of me by the producers. Perhaps this can be valuable information that can be used to help others. There is more in my book, Financial Lovemaking, which goes deeply into the struggles that couples have when negotiating the challenging task of merging love and money together.

    1) What do Love and Money have in common?

    People think it’s taboo to mix love and money in a conversation, but it’s not. It’s actually essential that you do so. Loving together means living together. In most relationships, you spend more time talking about functional aspects of life, such as paying the bills and purchasing decisions than you spend on “lovey-dovey” stuff. Also, like making love, merging your assets involves sharing something of value with another person. Similar to the act of sharing your body, merging your assets with someone else can either be a fulfilling experience or a devastating one, depending on who you choose as your partner.

    2) What are the biggest mistakes couples make when it comes to managing love and relationships?

    I can list some common mistakes very simply: Not communicating about money, stepping into something without knowing what you’re getting into. Not being honest with yourself or your partner. Allowing love to dominate your logic when it comes to determining if someone is right for you. Not critically analyzing the spending, saving, borrowing and investing habits of your partner and how this is going to play out in the long-term. Not analyzing the long-term earning potential of your partner and determining if you are comfortable with it.

    3) What does it mean for a couple to “get financially naked with your partner?”

    In regular love, you eventually have to get naked. That means the person sees your physical assets and liabilities. The same should be done financially: you and your partner should share debt levels, income levels, spending habits, credit scores, perceptions of money and all the things that your partner needs to know. The key to making good love is communication and the same is true for financial lovemaking as well.

    4) Is financial lovemaking only a topic for couples or those seeking relationships?

    No. Part of the lovemaking process means learning to love yourself. That means understanding your own relationship with money and how you are going to reach your own financial goals. Good financial health is not just for the benefit of current and future partners, it is also important for you. Additionally, financial lovemaking affects how money and relationships merge in all kinds of scenarios: with your children, relatives, friends, etc. By being financially healthy, you are ready to merge assets in an effective way when the right situation comes along.

    5) How does bad financial lovemaking spread beyond your significant other? What about other offspring, relatives, etc?

    Many financial lovemaking problems come from our children and parents. If you don’t raise your children to be financially independent, they can become liabilities during retirement rather than assets. If you don’t know how to manage your financial relationships with loved ones, you might find yourself being drained in a way that frustrates both you and your partner. Love is something that permeates every dimension of our lives, so effectively managing our money can be a tool toward making good love.

    6) What is a “life portfolio” and what do you mean when you say that “our most significant financial assets in life having nothing to do with money?”

    The most valuable things in your life are usually non-financial: your health, your happiness, your love and your time. All of these things were granted to us from birth and have nothing to do with money. Many times, I see people destroying the most valuable assets in their lives, all in the pursuit of money, and I find that to be sad. Money should be a tool for the enhancement of that which is most valuable to you, not a weapon to destroy the things that matter.

    Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and author of the book, “Financial Lovemaking 101: Merging Assets with Your Partner in Ways that Feel Good.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.

     

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  • How To Use A Colon Cleanser To Lose Weight

    Life Does your cat polish your floor with his stomach as he walks? Is his food bowl bigger than your head? Do you grunt when you try to pick him up? Does he bounce when he lands on the floor? Do you spend more on his food bill than your own?

    People see…

  • Triple Threat – Mother, Wife, Career Woman: What Does it Take?

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    An entrepreneur doesn’t think like everyone else. She is willing to take chances, disciplined enough to focus on a dream and passionate enough to pursue that dream. Towanna Freeman is in that category. AOL Black Voices had the chance to catch up with Towanna, to get some advice on striking out on your own, as well as managing a marriage, children and career, all at the same time.

    1) What is your name and what do you do?

    Have you noticed how so many people seem to be living an unbalanced life or living beneath their full potential? Well, I assist people, particularly women, who are ready to take life changing action to get that sense of balance back along with that greater feeling of fulfillment and happiness. I am also the principal consultant of Towanna Freeman & Associates, a management consulting firm with the primary emphasis on leadership coaching and employee performance improvement; the founder of the Young Women’s Empowerment Network a nonprofit organization that produces empowerment workshops, conferences, and other special events for teen girls; and the author of “Purposeful Action, 7 Steps to Fulfillment.”

    2) You are a successful entrepreneur. What does it take mentally to run your own business, as opposed to the safe route of working for someone else?

    Every entrepreneur has his or her own reasons for wanting to own a business. Some are drawn to the idea of financial and creative freedom, being their own boss, and being in charge of their own financial future. Others make the decision because they are dissatisfied with demanding bosses, office politics, or lack of recognition. Regardless of the reason, successful entrepreneurs share several common characteristics like confidence, determination, organization, self-discipline, and flexibility.

    3) You are a “triple threat” – wife, mother and business woman. What are the challenges that come along with juggling everything in your life?

    With all my successes, there has been a great sacrifice. My most challenging task is not allowing my determination and drive to cause me to spend every waking moment working and juggling the needs of my household. Having a balanced personal and professional life requires separating business demands, activities, and accomplishments from the rest of your life. To ensure that I stay committed to a balanced life, I build in an hour a day to relax and engage in pleasant activities. For example, I will stretch out on my sofa with my favorite magazine. I will put on my headphones and listen to my favorite music. I will eat lunch in the park. Finding a good balance between work and fun will help you meet the challenges of running your business and household.

    4) Why do you work to inspire young girls? Did you have a personal experience that led you to have this passion?

    Mentors have always played an important role in my life – even now as an adult. It was in 1997 when I was alarmed by a series of national and local statistics that showed startling trends surrounding the teen girls of America. The lack of organized youth activities in poor neighborhoods, the increased number of single-parent households, and families with two working parents all reducing the number of adult role models. So, as a response to the community demands for assistance, I founded the Young Women’s Empowerment Network (www.ywen.org) a nonprofit organization established to provide role models, resources, social and emotional help to teen girls. Through our programs and events, we are able to help them realize their full potential to succeed in life.

    5) Do you feel that Black women are respected the way they should be by the rest of America?

    If not, then why? Black women have been a crucial part of America’s history. Thankfully, the lack of respect from America did not hinder the Black woman’s steady progress and determination to achieve success. The Black woman’s history is a story of hope in the face of great obstacles. In my opinion, receiving respect from America is less important than receiving opportunities from America. It is through opportunities to achieve greatness that we create pride, self-worth and true life fulfillment. Today, there is a new generation of Black women that has flourished with remarkable achievements in academia, business, politics, and sports. Women such as Ruth Simmons, Ann Fudge, Condoleezza Rice, and Venus and Serena Williams. As I continue to achieve greatness, the next generation of Black women leaders that I influence is destined to reach higher heights.

    6) What are your plans for the future?

    Helping women and teen girls identify and effectively pursue personal goals to fulfill their lives is what I do – it is my purpose. I see my coaching practice and management consulting firm overwhelmed with success story after success story. And my upcoming book, “Purposeful Action, 7 Steps to Fulfillment,” was written specifically for women to aid them on their journey to living an abundant and purposeful life. Purposeful Action is not about merely making a New Year’s resolution or a vow – it is about setting goals for life and then acting upon them.


    Towanna Freeman is a Life Coach, Management Consultant, Inspirational Speaker, Author, Principal consultant of Towanna Freeman & Associates and founder of the Young Women’s Empowerment Network. For more information, please visit www.TowannaFreeman.com.

    Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and author of the forthcoming book, “Black American Money.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.

     

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  • Content On Demand: Clarence Clemons Telling ‘Tall Tales’ With New Memoir

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    E Street Band

    Legendary saxophonist Clarence Clemons‘ first memoir, ‘Big Man: Real Life & Tall Tales,’ is in stores this week. Published by Grand Central Publishing, the hardcover tome (written with best friend and television producer Don Reo) is the very first book penned by a member of Bruce Springsteen‘s iconic E Street Band. “The Boss,” himself, even wrote the foreword for the book, which “isn’t the same old story” and “one that tells true, unknown stories … in a series of hybrid fact-and-fiction stories called “legends.” Clemons, 67, is a Norfolk, Virginia native who’s been a prominent member of the hit-making outfit since 1972. “The book was being written all my life,” he told Metro newspaper. “We just decided to put it down on paper. … It’s pretty great because it’s something I’ve never done before.’

     

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  • Dr. Boyce Money: Rapper Nas in Serious Tax Trouble

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    Hip Hop Wired is reporting that the rapper Nas is having some serious financial problems. In addition to owing his wife Kelis $44,000 per month in child support, it turns out that the artist also owes the federal government another $2.5 million in taxes. Here are quick thoughts about Nas, love and money:

    1) Nas has a complicated life. His decision to marry the “love of his life” is going to cost him for the rest of his life. The rapper’s tax situation could be due to irresponsibility (as appears to be the case with Method Man and Nicolas Cage), or it could simply be a matter of using write-offs that were not allowed by the IRS. We can’t assume that Nas’ tax trouble automatically makes him into a horrible citizen.

    2) He is not as rich as you think. I remember Will Smith once explaining how “a million dollars really isn’t that much money.” After Uncle Sam takes half, and the agents and attorneys get their cut, you are lucky to have $350,000 left over. Sure, that’s plenty of money, but it may not be very much money relative to the cost of living the celebrity lifestyle, and taking care of all the friends and relatives begging you for financial support. Success is a beautiful thing, but the problem is that success draws attention and financial vacuum cleaners who want to suck you dry. So, I am not sure why every artist loves to show the world how rich he is. I’d be quiet about my wealth.

    3) Please explain $44,000 per month in child support? Many men who make the kind of money that Nas allegedly makes (reported to be $250,000 per month) are considered to have infinite wealth. The truth, however, is that much of his income as an artist is volatile, uncertain, and likely to go down over time. The idea that he is being asked to pay so much in child support seems to neglect the fact that his resources do not go as far as Kelis and others might be inclined to think. The next time someone wonders why wealthy celebs don’t want to get married, they only need to look at the case of Nas and Kelis to find the answer. Love is supposed to be priceless, but child support courts seem to know exactly what that price should be.

    When it comes to Nas, Kelis and the IRS, the bottom line is this: Nas needs a financial intervention to help him to realistically manage his financial life. By analyzing his situation and others, we also can learn how our personal decisions in love and life can affect our financial situation. The truth is that who you choose to marry and how you manage your relationships plays a huge role in your financial stability. Finally, I am a fan of carefully constructed prenuptial agreements, so that wealth can be shared in such a way that marriage doesn’t become financially devastating. They say love and money shouldn’t mix, but relationship mistakes should not cost millions.

    Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and author of the book, “Financial Lovemaking 101: Merging Assets with Your Partner in Ways that Feel Good.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.

     

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  • Al Scales Reynolds: Opening Up About ‘Life After’ Messy Marriage

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    Al Scales Reynolds: Opening Up About 'Life After' Messy Marriage

    The one and only Al Scales Reynolds is a featured celebrity notable on TV One’s much buzzed about docu-series ‘Life After,’ which explores the past, present and future hopes of some of black America’s most intriguing bold-faced names.

    The eight-episode, half-hour series — which feature candid profiles on Omarosa Manigault Stallworth, Taimak, Eva Marcille and Daryl “Chill” Mithcell, respectively — is part biography, part confessional and an overall celebration of the human spirit.

    Though the former husband of Star Jones isn’t a SAG card-carrying thespian (like the aforementioned actors and reality TV stars), his short-lived marriage to and messy divorce from a former TV personality has presented many public and professional challenges for the former Wall Street power broker. He has had more than his fair share of tabloid fodder and wants to set the record straight about any misconceptions and misrepresentations.

    Reynolds exclusively offered Blackvoices.com some insight on why he chose to do ‘Life After’ – in his very own words.

    When I decided I did not want to be married any more, the truth is I had no idea how it was all going to play out. The one thing I knew was that I did not want to do it any longer–not one extra day with how bad it had gotten.

    I knew it was going to be a long road to recovery, but I was ready because I’d had enough, enough of the lies and deceit that existed in my life. It was becoming harder and harder to wake up and be satisfied with the face that stared back at me in the mirror.
    I would like to set the record straight: I am not one who advocates divorce. That would be the furthest from the truth, but I am one who advocates happiness and moral responsibility. You see, before I got married, I was a private banker at the world headquarters of one of the most prestigious white-glove financial firms in the world. I had a client list that read like a who’s who of fashion, sports, design and education. I lived downtown in The Ritz Carlton Residence, and I was well on my way to realizing all the dreams I had envisioned for myself. I studied at some of the most prestigious universities and colleges in the country.

    This all was the experience of a “country boy” from Virginia who started out in a mobile home in Horsepasture, Virginia, and ended up living in a penthouse in Manhattan.

    I managed to defy every single statistic that existed in my era and pushed forward to become what many define today as a success. And guess what, it was not overnight. It was after 25 years of schooling, 12 years of work experience and 33 years of living. It was after three career changes and dozens of setbacks, failures and disappointments.

    To accomplish all of that and wake up to find myself in a high-profile marriage that led to what felt like the raping of my character, integrity and namesake was a problem.

    How did all of this occur in what felt like a matter of seconds and why was it happening to me? That’s what I found myself thinking about. I would frequently wonder when I heard or read anything about myself who the tabloids were they talking about?

    Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, what I’ve experienced and how I’ve been misrepresented in the media is a real-life tragedy. And before now, I didn’t feel comfortable enough to say it and say it out loud. Now, I want to be very clear, I am not looking for sympathy. I only want to take responsibility for any part I had to play in this.

    But at the same time, I want the respect that I worked so hard to obtain. How come, within the blink of an eye, people started questioning my sexuality? How come after all that I worked hard to achieve, I was being called a freeloader, a kept man or a fraud?

    It was with caution that I originally took the call from TV One Network. Most of the calls I had received from most networks — and you name it, they’ve called — were not interested in showing who or what I was really about. They were interested in me living out the caricature that was so vividly portrayed.

    TV One approached me about showing the world what I was doing now, using my voice as the platform. Finally, I thought, someone who was interested in exploring who the real Al Reynolds was and not who the media had made me out to be.

    The producers said they were only interested in doing socially responsible programming that would allow me to just be me. They were interested in following me mentoring young adults, teaching my personal finance and leadership courses at the university, helping everyday Americans with their financial problems, writing financial articles, doing financial television commentary and exploring the road I have traveled from early childhood to the present.

    I felt that ‘Life After’ was finally a project in which I could showcase who I really am, with no scripts, no red carpets, no paparazzi, no endorsements — just the real deal.

    The show represents pushing through whatever challenges or obstacles you are experiencing in your life and persevering. It is the” life” you forge “after” your adversity.

    This project represents to me the closing of a chapter in my life, as well the beginning of a new and exciting one, one that is filled with giving back to my community, which is thirsting for help in mentoring and motivating in order to achieve and overcome adversity.

    It’s the beginning of embracing the entertainment side of my life. I look forward to having a much greater touch by writing, commentating and developing socially responsible projects for everyone to be inspired and uplifted.

    Reclaiming my name, my identity and my voice back is the most rewarding and best part. From the bottom of my heart to the tip top of my head, I still say to any and everyone listening: What doesn’t kill you definitely makes you stronger!

    ‘Life After: Al Reynolds’ premieres Oct. 18 at 10 p.m. on TV One.

     

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  • Method Man, Wesley Snipes Arrested for Taxes, but Not Nicolas Cage?

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    I’ve met Method Man only one time, and I’ve never met Wesley Snipes or Nicolas Cage. In spite of his mixed public image, Method Man actually comes across as an intelligent, attentive and down-to-earth human being. At the time I met him, I’d only been on national TV a couple of times, but he talked to me as if he’d known me his entire life. He even recited the lyrics to Ice Cube songs that I brought up and told me stories about Tupac. I was quite impressed.

    The closest I’ve ever come to Nicolas Cage is when his movie came out about the 911 attacks and they forgot to include the black guy’s character. It was incredibly tacky, but effectively, there was an African American named Jason Thomas who played a huge role in 911 – large enough for them to include his character in the film. But somehow, in all their exhaustive research for this multi-million dollar blockbuster movie, they simply forgot that his character was black. Instead, he was cast as a white man. How the producers could have overlooked something so obvious was beyond me. In fact, I find it hard to believe that this was an accidental oversight.

    I don’t have much to say about Wesley Snipes, except for the fact that he should watch what he says about black women. Oh yeah. He needs to also pay attention to his tax bill.

    Where Nicolas Cage, Wesley Snipes and Method Man cross paths in my psyche is on the touchy issue of tax evasion. I listened to Method Man (in this interview) take full responsibility for the fact that he was arrested for owing $33,000 in back taxes. He even jokes about it, which is better than I’d be able to do.

    Nicolas Cage owes far too much money to joke about anything. In various media reports, Cage owes over $6 million dollars to the IRS. Now, I have no idea why Method Man is in handcuffs, Wesley got a prison sentence and Nicolas Cage just has to put his castle and mansion on the auction block (yes, the dude really owns a castle – that’s what my friends might call “Intergallactic ballin” – I came up with term that myself). I am also unsure how a man who’s made so much money could be so far behind on his taxes. At the same time, tax problems are human, and there are tons of Americans in all income brackets who have tax trouble every year.

    As you know, I enjoy finding true teachable moments in everyday life. Given that an IRS audit increases your chances of getting you into tax trouble, I thought I’d bring the classroom to the web and share a few facts with you about taxes, audits and finance.

    Here are 4 things that can increase your likelihood of being audited by the IRS:

    1) Having an income that is greater than $50,000 per year – When you make the cheese, you become a big fish and worth the time to audit. The IRS doesn’t have time to go after little wallets.

    2) You are self-employed – Statistics show that self-employed people tend to do the most wiggling and fudging on their taxes, so having your own business flags you as an audit risk.

    3) Making a mistake on prior tax returns – if you’ve made mistakes in the past, you are likely to make another one…at least more likely than everyone else. This will flag your return for a possible audit.

    4) An excessive number of tax write-offs – if the dollar value of your deductions exceeds a certain percentage of your income, then the IRS may come after you. Make sure that any write-offs you have are well documented and legal. You don’t want to cheat on your taxes or get too greedy when filing.

    Remember that tax problems can happen to anyone, so if you are subjected to an audit, don’t panic. Go buy a book on dealing with audits, “fess up,” pay your fine and go on with your life. You’re not in the same boat as Method Man.

    If you want to hear this right out of my mouth, feel free to click on the video below. I’m going to hang out in Chicago:

    Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University, a leading African American Speaker and author of the forthcoming book, “Black American Money.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.

     

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  • ‘Bosses Day’: Are You Celebrating National Boss Day 2009 on Friday?

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    A day for bosses? Really? Well, get ready, as it is now the eve of Boss Day 2009.

    I personally have never heard of National Boss Day, which will be celebrated this year on Friday, October 16. Even though “bosses day” (as it is called by some) was created way back in 1958 by a woman named Patricia Bays Haroski, this is definitely not your typical Hallmark occasion. Many people hate their bosses, and see no reason to give them a special day.

    But some writers are re-framing National Boss Day in 2009 as an important time to consider the immense pressures business leaders of today are facing given the economic climate.

    Between having to lay off good employees, to being expected to show results with diminishing resources, bosses in 2009 have to work harder than ever to stay positive while motivating their people. Author Bob Nelson believes that a good boss deserves praise for working well under such circumstances, citing these characteristics as those that make awesome bosses, no matter what the decade (via PRNewswire):

    1. A clear and compelling direction: Bosses need to inspire their employees to be excited about their work.
    2. Direct, open and honest communication: Frequent and effective communication is the leading way to show employees trust and respect.
    3. Employee involvement and initiative: Managers need to ask employees for their ideas.
    4. Employee autonomy, flexibility and support: Employees need a say in how they do their work.
    5. Career growth and development: Tough times provide many opportunities for employees to take on additional responsibilities.
    6. Recognition and rewards for high performance: During down times, the need for employees to feel valued for their efforts greatly increases.

    You can read more about what makes a great boss in 2009 in Nelson’s new book, ‘Keeping Up in a Down Economy: What the Best Companies Do to Get Results in Tough Times.’

    http://xml.channel.aol.com/xmlpublisher/fetch.v2.xml?option=expand_relative_urls&dataUrlNodes=uiConfig,feedConfig,localizationConfig,entry&id=748214&pid=748213&uts=1255621420
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    Jobs You Can Run Away To
    Get a (New) Life
    If you have fantasies of picking up, packing up and starting a new life somewhere, then one of these jobs may be a great fit for you. Continue clicking through our gallery to learn the pros and cons about jobs that you can run away to.
    jupiterimages
    Touchstone Pictures

    Jobs You Can Run Away To

      Get a (New) Life
      If you have fantasies of picking up, packing up and starting a new life somewhere, then one of these jobs may be a great fit for you. Continue clicking through our gallery to learn the pros and cons about jobs that you can run away to.

      jupiterimages

      Cruise Ship Jobs

      On one level, cruise ship jobs seem amazingly glamorous. After all, employees receive free food, accomodations, medical care, airline tickets and uniforms. They often don’t have to pay taxes, get discounted cruise rates for family members, and can travel for free. As many cruise ship job sites point out, passengers pay thousands of dollars per week to see the same sites that employees enjoy for free.

      On the other hand, cruise ships can get claustrophobic after a while, and many jobs are far from wonderful. After all, when somebody gets seasick, a cruise ship employee has to clean it up, and chances are that the captain won’t be the one wielding the mop. Still, cruise ships offer a dizzying array of jobs, a chance to escape to exotic climes, and a steady income, most of which can be banked. Anchors aweigh!

      AFP / Getty Images

      The Military

      Although the military is reaching its enlistment quotas for the first time in years, it still offers excellent bonuses and outstanding benefits. According to Military Hub, the maximum bonus for new recruits is $40,000, while reservists can get $20,000 for five years of service. Other bonuses are available for military personnel who intend to buy a new home or start a business. For active duty soldiers who choose to re-enlist, bonuses can be as high as $90,000.

      Military members receive massively subsidized medical and dental care, subsidized education, and various housing allowances. They also have access to reduced-rate car insurance and life insurance, credit union membership, inexpensive military stores, and a host of other benefits.

      Jim MacMillan, AP

      Park Rangers

      Full-time Park Rangers earn a salary of between $24,000 and $37,000 and often receive free housing, in addition to other benefits. Unfortunately, these jobs are tenured and competition is fierce. In addition to a bachelor’s degree in park management, natural history, forestry, or a related major, applicants need extensive experience as seasonal rangers or interns.

      On the bright side, there are a variety of seasonal jobs available from the National Park Service. The education and experience required depends on the position, and interested parties can apply at USAJOBS, the US Federal government’s job site. While park ranger jobs were cut after 2006, it seems likely that these could be among the first positions to benefit from the US government’s stimulus plan.

      AP

      Nanny

      Salaries for live-in nannies vary wildly, depending upon the area, the family, and the nanny’s qualifications. In general, nannies in major cities get $18-20 per hour, while live-in childcare in less costly areas is about half that. Entry-level nannies with high school degrees can expect roughly $400 per week, while experienced, trained nannies can expect $1000 per week or more.

      While live-in nannies may not qualify for time-and-a-half overtime wages, they still are legally entitled to time off and other benefits. Many nannies get complete compensation packages, including subsidized health insurance, paid vacations, gym memberships, cell phones, and educational allowances.

      jupiterimages

      House Mother

      If you’re a woman who is over 40 years old who enjoys dealing with adolescents and has experience with running a household, hotel, or small country, this might be the job for you. Basically, a house mother is in charge of the environment of a sorority or fraternity. She deals with the house’s staff, plans meals, handles minor disasters, and generally makes sure that her charges’ lives run smoothly. Jobs usually include free rent and meals and come with a reasonable salary. Since they are attached to a university, house mother positions may allow you to take advantage of many of the cultural and educational attractions available at your school. Best of all, you get to deal with the wonderful drama of a household full of college girls!

      Corbis

      Ranch Hand

      Running away to work on a farm is one of the classic escapist American fantasies. While the dude ranches of the nineteenth century have almost disappeared, there is still a huge livestock industry and plenty of jobs for people with experience in animal husbandry. Depending on the type of ranch, workers can do a wide variety of jobs, including training horses, caring for livestock, taking care of children or young adults, performing general farm work, maintaining corrals, and cooking. While education for this work is generally vocational, some areas will train employees to do the specialized jobs that they require. Depending on the position, the area, the employer, and your level of knowledge, pay and benefits can range wildly. Ranch Work is a good starting place to get a feeling for available jobs, salary possibilities, and benefits involved.

      Corbis

      Camp Counselor

      If you sometimes find yourself obsessively watching Meatballs, then camp work might be perfect for you. While salaries vary based on position and experience, you can expect to make a couple of hundred dollars per week, in addition to room, board, and free use of recreational facilities. Positions include lifeguard, counselor, kitchen staff, administrative staff, nursing staff, and maintenance staff, and are available across the country. Added benefits include fresh air, beautiful scenery, and a 50% chance of waking up with your hand in a pot of warm water!

      AP

      Peace Corps

      In addition to offering a solid line on a resume, a stint in the Peace Corps provides a complete care package. While in the corps, volunteers are taught a foreign language, receive comprehensive medical and dental care, draw a liberal living allowance, and have two days of paid vacation per month. Students are allowed to defer or even partially cancel their student loans.

      Once volunteers return from their service, the program helps them readjust to society with a $6,000 bonus, fast-tracking into government careers, and other job placement help. Those who want to continue their education can combine their service with a graduate program or can join the Fellows/USA program, which offers scholarships or reduced tuition in return for a commitment to work in an under-served US community.

      Andres Leighton, AP

      Home Health Care Aide

      With the Baby Boomer generation’s ongoing march into old age, the home health care industry is poised to enjoy almost explosive growth. Home health care aids help elderly, ill, and mentally disabled people to do all the things necessary to live at home. This can include cooking, cleaning, planning meals, doing laundry, shopping, changing bed linens, and other household tasks. Certification for this job varies from state-to-state. In some areas, applicants simply learn on the job, while other states require extensive background checks and more formal training. Median wages are $8.54 per hour, going up to over $11. In most cases, this isn’t a live-in job.

      jupiterimages


    Do your bosses exhibit these traits? If so, consider yourself lucky and honor them this Friday on National Boss Day 2009. If business managers ever deserved a day for keeping things running, it is during this turbulent era.

    Source

     

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  • Elizabeth Mwanga: TV Producer Talks Cougars, Men, Weight Loss

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    Meet Elizabeth Mwanga. She’s sexy, she’s smart and she’s a self-proclaimed cougar-in-training.

    Mwanga, a native New Yorker born to Ugandan parents, is the creator and executive producer of ‘Cougars: NYC,’ a series documenting the lives of older women in New York City. Her New York-based boutique television production company, IiN TV Productions, focuses on original reality docu-series, docu-soaps and makeover shows, as well as commercial and music video productions.

    In addition to her work in television and film, Mwanga owns and operates Imana Music/Black Family Publishing, a music catalog that holds more than 500 free songs.

    She’s a real go-getter. But life hasn’t been that peachy for her.

    Nearly slipping into a diabetic coma in 2007, then weighing more than 200 pounds at 5-foot-1, Mwanga decided to “live and begin a path to recovery.” Fast-forward to this year, Mwanga has lost over 100 pounds and regulated her diabetes through weight loss, diet and exercise. For this cougar-in-training, transforming herself from the inside out has not only put a new spin on her dating life, but also given her a unique perspective.

    Stating that 33 is the new 23, Mwanga wants you to forget what you heard about cougars and let her tell her side of the story.


    You consider yourself a “cougar-in-training.” You also draw a distinction between pumas and cougars. Can you fill me in on all this terminology?

    When I think of a cougar, I think of an independent, hot older woman, a woman who looks really hot for her age. She’s a woman that younger men, who we call cubs, tend to like, and she likes younger men because she has as much energy if not more than them. A cougar-in-training, or c.i.t., is a woman in her thirties who likes younger guys. They’re considered pumas. Cougars are women over 40. A lot of people are saying that pumas and cougars have this rivalry between them, because pumas are a little bit younger and they can get more guys. I call pumas cougars-in-training because I think that’s a better term for them. I’m not trying to take away from cougars at all, because I think they’re the bomb. What kind of gets on my nerves is when people talk about cougars in the media. They’re always like, “She’s such a cougar, always on the hunt, preying on younger men.” When a lot of people talk about cougars in the media, what they’re really talking about are hot and horny older women that prey on younger men. That is one type of cougar.

    Regarding people’s misconceptions about cougars, don’t you think that has to do with the literal definition of a cougar? They’re predators that hunt other animals for food.

    The majority of women that I either hang out with or know are cougars. Some maybe want men just for sex, but some of them want relationships. The thing about cougars that people don’t really understand is that there are a lot of different types of cougars, like any other woman. There are women that just want to get it poppin’ and there are women that want relationships. There are so many different types of cougars. You can’t really label them as one thing.

    So, how do you deal with the term cougar and its connotations?

    We’re not sugar mamas here. We’re not trying to pay anyone’s way. We’re just dating and seeing where it goes. The point I want to make is that these are not women that are out there every night wearing low-cut tops and tight skirts, trying to snag a young guy and do him. Courteney Cox’s show, I haven’t seen it, but I heard that it really kind of reaffirms the negative stereotypes about cougars — the botox and all that. The word “cougar” makes a lot of cougars, especially black cougars, self-conscious about the label for one reason or another. A lot of cougars are scared off by the term, and they want to keep things private.

    What is it about cougars that young men are attracted to?

    Look, if a woman is 50 years old and she looks 50 and she’s not put together, she’s not going to get a hot guy. There is a reason why Demi Moore got Ashton Kutcher. Cougars are at a point in their lives where they’re extremely self-confident and stable in their lives. I throw cougar parties in the city, and I invite cougars-in-training between 30 and 40 years old. The majority of the guys that come to my parties are young professional guys. They like the professional older woman look. A lot of the guys tell me they love a cougar’s confidence. I hope I don’t offend you, but they tell me a lot of the women in their twenties who they’ve dealt with don’t know what they want and are insecure, which may or may not be true.

    Do you catch any flack from younger women?

    Yeah, sometimes, but I get more flack from older men. From younger women, I don’t get as much flack as I get, “Go on girl. Do your thing.” Because, I think it’s empowering for all women. At the end of the day, we’re all going to get older, and, unfortunately, the way that this society looks at older women is not good. But women are changing the game now. If you look at 20 years ago, women on TV, when they were in their forties they were matronly. There weren’t many actresses over 40 that were hot sexpots. Now, we’ve got Halle Berry. Look at Heidi Klum. Women are staying hot a lot longer than they used to. While we shouldn’t place all of our values on looks, I do believe in taking care of yourself from the inside out. Even Michelle Obama talks about that. She says that she gets up every day at 5 a.m. to work out, because she’s like, “I know when I look good, I feel good.” That’s real. And that should be for men, too.

    You brought up two points that I want you to elaborate on: How society views older women and also the flack you receive from older men. Do you think cougars are turning gender stereotypes on their heads?

    I did a radio show on cougars and guess who was calling in all upset? Older men. They were so mean. One of the cougars on the show said she was attracted to younger guys because she thought they took better care of themselves, had more energy and were more attractive than older men. The older men were calling in like “I’m 50 years old, and I have the stamina of a 25-year-old.” They were offended. A lot of older men feel that they are being rejected, which is not the case. I mean, how do you think that women feel? It happens all the time with men. They trade up. They’re with a woman for 20 years. They’re married to her and have a great life with her. Then they get divorced, and the next wife is 10 years younger, 20 years younger. The woman gets blamed. It’s “she let herself go.” Meanwhile, the guy is 50 and bald. I mean, listen, who let who go? It happens all the time. No one says anything about it. It’s time for us to do a switcheroo. My goal is to empower mature women. I prefer the term mature over older. But it’s like a sisterhood.

    You mentioned earlier that cougars are attracted to younger guys for their energy. But if you’re in a long-term relationship with a younger guy, he’s obviously going to get older. His energy level may not be the same as when he was younger. What happens then?

    I never thought about that. For the woman who is looking to be with somebody for the long haul, regardless of what happens, the guy is still going to be younger than her. So, he’s still probably going to have as much or a little bit more energy. No one stays 25 forever. Unfortunately, we all get older.

    Tell me about your show ‘COUGARS NYC.‘

    The show is a docu-soap. That’s what I term it. It’s reality. It’s along the lines of the ‘Real Housewives.’ It’s about the lives of four women. Four real-life cougars on a hunt for love in the jungles of New York City. The cast members are Meli’sa Morgan, Henshi Gorodetsky, Hayne Suthon and Shahla Husain. These are women that are all at least 40. They’re all fabulous. All of them are successful in their own careers. They’re confident, independent and they’re intelligent. They’re really fun and funny and have totally different lives. They’re out there looking to date. Sort of like ‘Sex and the City,’ but for cougars.

    What has been your experience as a cougar-in-training in the city?

    Well, I just lost a ton of weight. I lost like 100 pounds over 19 months. I’ve been at my goal weight for six months. Ever since I lost weight, I’ve been getting in on a bit, been on a couple dates. The other day, this guy that was 19 years old approached me. I told him I was flattered, but he was a little too young for me.

    How has losing weight impacted your dating life?

    First of all, I have a lot more confidence. It’s different, because now I have to worry about guys approaching me because they think I’m hot. I don’t want that to be the only thing. When I was big, everything was about my personality, and my personality had to really shine, because men weren’t trying to look at me any kind of other way. Losing weight has made me realize how shallow people are. When I was overweight, people didn’t open doors for me. People didn’t really look at me on the street. There wasn’t a whole lot of eye contact going on. And now, it’s a different story.

     

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  • Eddie Griffin: Going for Broke – and Getting There

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    I had a lot of fun watching the new Vh-1 show, “Going for Broke,” starring comedian Eddie Griffin. Griffin is one of the funniest comics in America, the comedian that Chris Tucker could have been (if he would simply stop disappearing between Jackie Chan movies).

    On the show, Griffin gives insight into his personal life, which is both intriguing and disturbing. The show is called “Going for Broke” for a reason, because Eddie just might actually get there.
    Here are some reasons that Eddie Griffin might actually become the broke celebrity that he is trying to become:

    1) He spends like a damn fool. One of the easiest traps for an entertainer to fall into is the “infinite money trap.” That’s when the person thinks that they’ve got an endless supply of cash, giving them ability to spend whatever they want on whatever they want. Apparently Eddie may have fallen into this trap, since his Bentley was being repossessed in an early episode of the show. Eddie’s conversation with his accountant was also revealing, as the words “all the accounts are empty” seemed to strike him hard. With all the success that Eddie Griffin has had, it is difficult to imagine that he would be completely broke. But the truth is that this kind of thing happens all the time.

    2) Can you say “8 kids and 4 baby’s mamas”? Eddie’s mother was right when she mentioned that any new potential “baby mamas” were looking to “get on the “Eddie Griffin financial plan.” What Eddie also seems to forget is that even if you are well to do, child support is a horrible financial burden. There are ways to be involved in the lives of children without giving up all your money in order to do so.

    3) He seems to put himself into bad situations. The first episode I saw showed scenes of Eddie going to a plastic surgeon after having a champagne glass smashed against his face by a “fan.” I’ve honestly got a few fans, but I don’t think any of them would want to slam a glass against my face. Maybe he should change the word “fan” to “hater,” “enemy,” or “potential threat.” Either way, Eddie seemed to feel that his life was somehow cursed with bad energy. Instead, he might take a second to realize that his personal choices might be the reasons he is being put into such peculiar situations.

    When it comes to Eddie Griffin and his new show, the bottom line is this: If you think that Eddie is now doing fine because he has a new Vh-1 show, think again. The networks don’t pay the entertainers much to do these shows, and the shows don’t usually last for a very long time. Also, unless you’re Bill Gates, you can’t presume that you’ve got a seemingly endless supply of disposable income. The fact that Eddie didn’t know he was out of money implies that he probably doesn’t keep a budget, which is one of the first paths toward financial ruin. Given that one of Eddie’s predecessors, Red Foxx, died deeply in debt to the IRS, one would hope that Eddie doesn’t endure that same fate. Eddie’s my man, funny as hell, but he’s really got to get it together.

    Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Professor at Syracuse University, a leading black speaker and author of the forthcoming book, “Black American Money.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.

     

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  • Financial Lovemaking: Managing "Baby Mama Drama"

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    Most of us know about “baby mama drama,” since some of that drama may occur within your own home. What is also forgotten is that there is a huge emotional and financial toll taken by the mating and dating choices that we make early in life. Having multiple children is expensive enough, but having multiple children in multiple households leads to a peculiar mix of unpredictable and complex psychological variables which may impact your ability to find peace and happiness.In this episode of “Financial Lovemaking,” S. Tia Brown and I discuss the art of managing multiple households and all the responsibilities that come with it. Here are some quick pointers on financial responsibility when dealing with and avoiding “baby mama drama.”

    1) Don’t create the drama in the first place. I tell my daughters that if you don’t think someone would be a good parent for your children, you shouldn’t sleep with them. In fact, you shouldn’t even go on the first date. This may sound far-fetched, but how many young parents go on a date with someone they just planned to “kick it with”, only to find their children being raised by the ignorant fool that they knew they should never have messed with from the beginning? Those who are not intelligent about their dating and mating choices early in life can end up with a lifetime of incredibly expensive child support. These huge financial obligations will virtually obliterate your ability to have another family or reach your personal financial objectives.

    2) Realize that there is no substitute for time. Some parents are tempted into believing that sending a big check is a replacement for spending time with their children. This is ultimately incorrect. Your kids are going to remember the time you did or did not spend, not how much money you sent.

    3) Create a budget. If you have a long list of parental obligations, make sure you keep a carefully designed budget and stick to it. You may also want to consider the fact that having a bunch of kids in multiple households is going to require you to have massive earning potential. I paid 18 years of child support myself, and I honestly think I spent enough money to fund NASA and the United Negro College Fund. Although I adopted kids later in life (I believe it takes a village to raise a child and black men should be willing to step up to do this), I was at least smart enough to avoid another pregnancy. I have made many mistakes in my life, but I usually only make them one time.

    4) Don’t play favorites. Emphasize to your children the importance of making sure you treat them all the same. How you deal with your kids will have a lasting impact on them into adulthood. You can’t guarantee that they are going to believe that you were fair (there’s always one who thinks the others were treated better), but you can at least do your best to avoid this problem.

    5) Realize that it takes two to Tango. You didn’t create the baby by yourself, so you should ensure that the non-custodial parent has an opportunity to spend time with his/her children – in fact, you should demand it, even if the kids aren’t interested. As much as black men get a bad rap for not wanting to see their children (sometimes rightfully so), there are thousands of fathers across America who’ve been victimized by mothers who want money, but don’t see the significance of influencing the children to spend time with their father. They are his children too, remember that, and if you are speaking negatively about the father when the kids are around, you should realize the long-term damage you are doing to your own offspring. Children should be targets of our love and affection, not possessions to be used as a source of power – think about that when you use the words “MY kids” when speaking with the other person who created them.

    The episode is below, check it out!

    Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and author of “Financial Lovemaking 101: Merging Assets with Your Partner in Ways that Feel Good.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.

     

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  • Taimak: ‘Last Dragon’ Star Talks About Life After Defining Role

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    The Last Dragon Star Taimak Guarriello Then & Now Whatever Happened To Taimak Eboyne Jackson Interviews Taimak
    Almost 25 years after ‘The Last Dragon’ was released in theaters, a remake (starring Samuel L. Jackson) is in the works. But people often wonder whatever happened to the heartthrob who played Bruce Leroy. Taimak Guarriello, who portrayed the young, gorgeous, soft-spoken marital arts genius, is still alive and kicking (literally). He’s still very much the handsome brother who made many women swoon in the Berry Gordy-produced cult classic, which also starred Vanity.

    Guarriello is the subject of TV One’s new docu-series ‘Life After,’ which premieres Oct. 4 at 10 p.m. BV Newswire caught up with the would-be Hollywood superstar to find out what he’s been up to.


    The Last Dragon

    Tell us about landing the role of Bruce Leroy.

    I was a young guy living in New York, and I was in a place where I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was kickboxing, and there really was no money in it. I was searching. I always had a dream of being an action star, and then this movie came up, and they were looking for people all over the country. Thousands of people came out to the auditions. It was a big deal, very much like the remake now. When they started casting it, there were thousands of guys wanting to be Bruce Leroy, and I was one of them.

    You had to audition twice for the role. Did you bomb the first time?

    It really was a funny story! It was my first audition, and I didn’t have experience as a professional actor. I didn’t know how to prepare for an audition. It was a lot different from doing school plays. So when I went in there, I was totally unprepared, and I was stiff. They gave me a piece of the script and said, “Okay, let’s go.” I had no concept of giving a cold reading. The casting person said, “You look the role, but you need to work on it.” I could hear the cynicism in his voice, like “he’ll never be back.” In the interim, they were still looking for their ideal Bruce Leroy, and they hadn’t had any success. I was always the type of guy that would never quit until the end. I choose when the end is right. So I began to work on it, with the support of my father and my best friend at that time. They instilled this belief in me that was so profound. I was at this crossroads in my life, and there was no doubt in my mind that this role was made for me. When I went in and knocked on the door again, the casting director was taken aback, and when I started reading, immediately his eyes started getting big. Then he had me meet with the rest of the cast, and then eventually, I met with Berry Gordy. When he saw me, he fell in love with me right away.

    What was your life like after ‘The Last Dragon’?

    There were the pros and cons, and then there was the reality. It was 1985, and the problem was there was an expectation. It was one of the biggest movies in the country, and there were no big actors in it. I was naive to the ways Hollywood represented black men. And I thought that because you star in a movie that does well that there would be another opportunity. Hollywood didn’t have a structure for someone like me to step into.

    So you didn’t have any mentors, there was no one in the industry who saw your potential and decided to take you under their wing?

    Berry Gordy, at that time, was going through a transition with Motown. He had a desire to help me, but there were some issues he was dealing with within his own label. Berry Gordy was a great influence on me. He told me that there were only a few people that he thought had what I had — Michael Jackson and a few others, you know. But it was very different back then. There were musicians like Michael Jackson, but there weren’t many young men of color, few that you could think of, that were playing a leading male movie role. Berry Gordy was basically being my mentor. But even though I loved him, I was too young to really make a quick decision on how to sustain my career.

    Do you feel like your reservations earlier on might have affected your career?

    Berry Gordy and I were developing our relationship to do future work. He wanted to make a huge impact in the film world when no other black company was doing that. I, as well as Hollywood, wasn’t moving as quickly as Berry Gordy’s vision. And because of that, he decided to step away from the film world and focus on other things with his company. And, honestly, at that point, that was the last big real attempt to bring black actors in film, and, at that time, he was the one who had that power. But it wasn’t enough unfortunately. He is an extraordinary man, a visionary. Hollywood just wasn’t ready to embrace the vision he had at the time. He needed Hollywood to be behind him in order for him to do what he needed to do.

    What was it that got you through that difficult periods in your life?

    After ‘The Last Dragon,’ after having so many years of Hollywood, after people — black and white — were not there for me as I thought they would be, I basically looked within and found my own drive, my own survival instincts, that told me if there is anything that I want out of life, then it’s up to me to create it.

    Do you still keep in touch with Berry Gordy or any of the other cast members of ‘The Last Dragon’?

    Yes, Berry Gordy and his family have reached out to me about the remake of ‘The Last Dragon,’ so we’ve been in touch in regard to that. I haven’t been in touch with Denise Matthews, who played Vanity, in about five years. I was in touch with Julius Carry up until he died, and since then, I have been in touch with his mother. She contacted me an hour after he died. It was very touching. There was definitely a connection between Julius and me, in the sense that we both had broken into Hollywood with one film in a big way.

    Are you going to appear in ‘The Last Dragon ‘ remake?

    I can’t give all the details, but I do know what role I am playing. I can say that it will be a surprise. Samuel L. Jackson is already signed to play Sho’nuff. The story isn’t going to be as comical as it was in the first one, but it will be very exciting. I am looking to read the rewrite of the script next month. I know that Devon Franklin, over at Sony, and Kerry Gordy really want to do a great job, so they’re really focusing in on the story.

    Are there any other projects that you are pursuing right now?

    Throughout the years, I have continued to perfect my craft and do theater whenever I can. I had an opportunity to work with a great director who has a big name out here in New York. We did a play that broke him out in a big way, and it’s called ‘Road House,’ which was a comedy rendition of Patrick Swayze’s movie. It was so hilarious, and I had so much fun doing it. And I told the director, Timothy Haskell, that I always wanted to work with him again. So he called me this summer, and he told me about a project he is working on with Eric Saunders, and he wants me to star in it along with these wonderful actors. The play is called ‘Last Life’ and will debut in December at a film festival. I am also looking to direct a one-act play that will open in the first week of November.

    What do you find most fulfilling about inspiring young adults to dream bigger through marital arts?

    What I am about is achieving happiness. I have found that gratitude is the key to everything. I realized that in order for me to be happy, to be fit mentally, spiritually, physically, I have to give my heart to young people and inspire them to win in life. It’s my integrity to be able to make a difference, to make them see that they can have anything that they want out of life. Right now, when I look at my life, I see that I have a beautiful apartment here in New York City. I have a great family, and I have great fans. I have the ability to do anything.

    BlackVoices.com‘s Top 30 Sexiest Black Film Actors Of All Time. Check out how they ranked.

    Mel B Pictures

      In this photo provided by Kraft Foods, Spice Girl “Mel B” poses for a photo wearing a T-shirt she designed based on the classic pink ribbon used for breast cancer awareness, after a fashion show and launch of “Pose for the Cure” web site to help Kraft Foods raise money for the ‘Susan G. Komen for the Cure’ fight against breast cancer in New York, Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2008. The shirt is for sale on the web site and the net proceeds will benefit the foundation. (AP Photo/Kraft Foods, Ray Stubblebine) **NO SALES**

      AP

      In this photo provided by Kraft Foods, Spice Girl “Mel B” poses for a photo wearing a T-shirt she designed based on the classic pink ribbon used for breast cancer awareness, after a fashion show and launch of “Pose for the Cure” web site to help Kraft Foods raise money for the ‘Susan G. Komen for the Cure’ fight against breast cancer in New York, Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2008. The shirt is for sale on the web site and the net proceeds will benefit the foundation. (AP Photo/Kraft Foods, Ray Stubblebine) **NO SALES**

      AP

      In this undated image released by Oxfam Tuesday Sept. 23, 2008, British singer Mel B participates in the ‘In My Name’ global campaign calling for action against poverty and demanding world leaders keep their promises on millennium development goals. (AP Photo/Oxfam, HO) ** NO SALES **

      AP

      In this photo provided by Kraft Foods, Spice Girl Mel B, left, serves as the emcee at a fashion show and launch of “Pose for the Cure” web site to help Kraft Foods raise money for the ‘Susan G. Komen for the Cure’ fight against breast cancer in New York, Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2008. Mel B wears a T-shirt she designed based on the classic pink ribbon used for breast cancer awareness. The shirt is for sale on the web site and the net proceeds will benefit the foundation. The woman at right is unidentified. (AP Photo/Kraft Foods, Ray Stubblebine) **NO SALES**

      AP

      NEW YORK – SEPTEMBER 09: TV personality and designer Khloe Kardashian and Olympic-level swimmer and model Amanda Beard (R) pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )

      Getty Images

      NEW YORK – SEPTEMBER 09: Ultimo Scottish designer lingerie brand founder Michelle Mone (L) and pop singer Melanie Brown pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )

      Getty Images

      NEW YORK – SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown poses backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )

      Getty Images

      NEW YORK – SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown and Olympic-level swimmer and model Amanda Beard (R) pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )

      Getty Images

      NEW YORK – SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown and singer Aubrey O’Day (R) poses backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )

      Getty Images

      NEW YORK – SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown, Olympic-level swimmer and model Amanda Beard, singer Aubrey O’Day and TV personality and designer Khloe Kardashian pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )

      Getty Images

     

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  • Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian Get Married: 5 Questions I’d Like to Ask

    Filed under: ,

    Today, we are going to use an interesting story in black celebrity news to teach a short lesson called “How NOT to make major life decisions.” Let’s start the conversation, shall we?

    NBA Star Lamar Odom has decided to marry Khloe Kardashian, whose sister Kim usually takes up all the family spotlight. The story goes that Khloe was hosting a “Welcome to LA Party” for new Laker, Ron Artest. Khloe allegedly ran the bill up to $3,000 and Lamar agreed to pay it. Could four weeks of love be built on a more stable foundation than money? The wedding ceremony was, in many ways, a fairytale: Celebrities everywhere, a triple arch of white roses, a serenade by the singer Babyface taking place at a private home in Beverly Hills. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire would be proud.

    But after the last piece of cake has been eaten and the wild honeymoon lovemaking is over, Lamar and Khloe then have to confront the reality of their choice. Based on what I’ve read, I’d be willing to bet a pair of Air Jordans that their marriage doesn’t last 3 years. I’d hate to rain on anyone’s romantic parade, but we’ve got to be honest when it comes to choices like this.

    Here are some questions I’d love to ask Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian:1) You’ve been dating for just a month? Are you serious? Love is a tricky thing. Most of us have been fooled by the first few weeks of a new relationship, thinking that Mr/Mrs. Right Now was Mr./Mrs. Now and Forever. There is scientific evidence that the chemical reactions in your brain during the lovemaking process are similar to mild injections of cocaine, which explains irrational behavior during the beginning and end of relationships. I don’t doubt that Lamar and Khloe are in love, but most of us know that the first month of a relationship makes it difficult to distinguish between being “in love” and being “in lust.” Why sign a legal contract until you’re completely sure?

    2) What’s up with the prenup? You DO have a prenup don’t you? I can define the word “prenup” with the following sentence: Four years, $32 million dollars. Yes, that’s the size of Lamar’s latest contract with the Lakers, and the reason I hope this 29-year old has protected his assets. Sure, Khloe’s family isn’t struggling either, but I presume that Lamar has taken the time to protect his wealth. If he hasn’t, then he deserves whatever happens as a consequence.

    3) Baby rumors anyone? After hearing that Khloe might be pregnant, some of this started to make sense. I presume that the baby belongs to Lamar, since Khloe doesn’t exactly look like she’s been carrying anybody’s baby for longer than a month. Lamar also has some baby mama drama of his own, with the children he created in a prior marriage. If you ever want a recipe for massive financial strain, try getting married too quickly and having a bunch of children in the process. It takes a few minutes to make a baby, but the child support can last a lifetime. We might be tempted to think that Lamar’s massive wealth makes child support a breeze, but the problem is that the more you earn, the more they make you pay. There’s nothing more difficult than being an ex-NBA player still paying NBA-level child support.

    4) What about your other kids Mr. Odom? When asked about the wedding, Liza Morales, Lamar’s ex-wife, sounded as if she were trying to survive a terrorist attack or a death in the family. According to TMZ, Odom’s ex-wife had this to say:

    “Yes, the circumstances over the last few weeks have been upsetting but none of my actions publicly or from the privacy of my home could be classified as a meltdown. I have maintained a brave face for my children who are my main concern and I remain strong for them.” She went on to say she has “the support of my family and friends and Lamar’s family have been nothing but supportive of me and the kids during this difficult time. I wish Lamar nothing but happiness we all deserve to be happy.”

    What’s also interesting is that Lamar’s other kids didn’t come to the wedding. I wonder if Khloe can smell the ensuing drama?

    OK, now that we’ve used Lamar and Khloe’s situation as our case study on how NOT to make major life choices, let’s find our true teachable moments (you know I don’t just do celebrity stuff unless there is a lesson in there somewhere):

    The bottom line is this: Marriage is a serious decision, not something that should leave you focused on the elegance of the ceremony or the romance of being able to pick out bridal gowns. Some of us get so excited about the idea of having marital legitimacy that we forget the fundamental truth that LOVING together means LIVING together. If you haven’t known someone long enough to be sure you can live with them, then you probably don’t know if you can ever truly love them.

    Secondly, we must be aware of the drug of lust, in which the chemical highs of sex can lead us to make damaging life choices. Many a celebrity has been left financially devastated by poor relationship choices in their 20s and 30s. Finally, if people have lives as complicated as Khloe and Lamar, at least a year of study is necessary to figure out if they can cope with all the complex externalities of each other’s personal lives: baby mama drama, professional issues, addictions, financial habits, etc. If you marry someone after a month and find out later that they have serious problems you can’t deal with, you only have yourself to blame.

    This is not just a lesson for Khloe and Lamar, but a lesson for all of us. If you claim that you never made mistakes when you were young and in love, then you are probably just a big ol liar.

    Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and author of “Financial Lovemaking 101: Merging Assets with Your Partner in Ways that Feel Good.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.

     

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  • Quick Weight Loss

    In a world where time is money, we are all looking at doing things quickly. Quick weight loss is another such example of the quickness needed in life today. And there is good news at least on this front. There are lots of remedies in the market that help …

  • Karen Hunter: Celebrating the Legacy of E. Lynn Harris

    Filed under: , ,

    In July, the death of E. Lynn Harris rocked the literary world. But some of today’s most popular Black authors are gearing up to celebrate the life of the ‘Invisible Life’ author in a big way.

    Sept. 25 has been deemed ‘E. Lynn Harris Day,’ where friends, colleagues and noted authors will gather to read excerpts from his latest novel, ‘Mama Dearest,’ and share some of their fondest memories of the best-selling author. See a list of participating locations, authors and contact information E. Lynn Harrisbelow.

    spike lee

    http://xml.channel.aol.com/xmlpublisher/fetch.v2.xml?option=expand_relative_urls&dataUrlNodes=uiConfig,feedConfig,entry&id=673461&pid=673460&uts=1253834506
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    Remembering The Books of E. Lynn Harris
    Since bursting onto the scene in the early 1990s with his seminal tome ‘Invisible Life,’ best-selling author E. Lynn Harris steadily wrote page-turner after page-turner. In 2008 he shared his thoughts about each of them with Black Voices.
    Barnes and Noble
    BlackVoices.com

    E Lynn Harris Tomes

      Invisible Life
      E. Lynn Says: “The saga begins”
      Released in 1991, ‘Invisible Life’ marks Harris’ debut as an novelist through this coming of age story. Law school, girlfriends, and career choices were all part of Raymond Tyler’s life, but there were other issues for him to confront.

      Barnes and Noble

      Just As I Am
      E. Lynn Says: “Avoid sophomore jinks.”
      Released in 1995, ‘Just As I Am’ picks up where ‘Invisible Life’ left off. In this vivid portrait of contemporary black life, with all its pressures and the complications of bisexuality, AIDS, and racism, Harris confirms a faith in the power of love — love of all kinds — to thrill and to heal, which will warm the hearts of readers everywhere.

      Barnes and Noble

      And This Too Shall Pass
      E. Lynn Says:“The country takes notice.”
      Released in 1997, Harris takes us into the locker rooms and newsrooms of Chicago, where four lives are about to intersect in romance and scandal. All of these characters face the challenge of keeping the faith – in themselves and in God – while Harris’s heartfelt storytelling reveals how the love of family can help one to face the terrible legacy of long-held secrets.

      Barnes and Noble

      If This World Were Mine
      E. Lynn Says: “A tribute to the fabulous friends I have.”
      Released in 1998, four close friends from the Hampton Institute share their personal diaries each month at a gathering filled with humor, gossip, and affirmation. But after five years, the once-strong bonds of friendship are weakening, and the group must handle challenges of work, lost love, and a stranger in their midst: gray-eyed John Basil Henderson, a former NFL star whose past has begun to haunt him.

      Barnes and Noble

      Abide With Me
      E. Lynn Says: “I believe In Love.”
      Released in 2000, Harris reintroduces his readers to the beloved characters of Nicole Springer and Raymond Tyler, Jr. Nicole has recently settled in order to pursue her dream of returning to the Broadway stage, and Seattle, where a late-night phone call from a U.S. Senator is about to change Raymond’s life dramatically.

      Barnes and Noble

      Not A Day Goes By
      E. Lynn Says: “A diva helps me to explode. Miss number one by a whisper.”
      Released in 2008, this thrilling novel marks the return of Yancey Braxton and John Basil Henderson. This time around Yancy is desperately searching for an audition on Broadway but ends up falling into Basil’s arms. The couple’s romance leads to their wedding that will be full of suspense.

      Barnes and Noble

      Any Way The Wind Blows
      E. Lynn Says: “Going to the river again.”
      Released in 2002, Broadway diva Yancey Braxton makes a comeback to the social scene as a recording star. In addition to stepping back into the lime light, Braxton has forgiven ex-fiancé John Basil Henderson. As Braxton’s celebrity continues to rise she fears that her past may comeback to haunt her.

      Barnes and Noble

      A Love of My Own
      E. Lynn Says:“How rich black people can some time act.”
      Released in 2003, Editor-In-Chief of ‘Bling Bling’ magazine, Zola Norwood, find herself in a compromising position with media mogul Davis McClinton on a New York bound flight. One position is landing a position as his editor-in-chief. The other is landing the married man in her bed.

      Barnes and Noble

      What Becomes of the Brokenhearted
      E. Lynn Says: “I knew you when.”
      Released in 2004, Harris opens up on how writing saved his life in this touching memoir. Not to mention his relationship with his abusive father, his 1990 suicide attempt, and his first gay relationship. The novelist stated, “The lessons I have learned are not limited to race, gender, or sexual orientation. Anyone can learn from my journey.”

      Barnes and Noble

      I Say A Little Prayer
      E. Lynn Says: “God Loves Me Too”
      Released in 2006, Chauncey Greer, a successful greeting card company owner, makes his return to a singing career that had launched as a teen. Upon his return, Chauncey is caught in the middle of a protest over homophobia in church — which is when Greer’s former singing partner/lover makes an unexpected appearance.

      Barnes and Noble

    Earlier this week, Eric Jermone Dickey, RM Johnson, Tina McElroy Ansa, Clarence Nero, Tracie Howard and Laura Gilmore gathered at Outwrite Books in Atlanta, where Harris lived and often began his tours.

    Earlier this year, Harris signed on for a three-book deal with Karen Hunter Publishing, which released ‘Mama Dearest’ this week. Journalist-turned-author Karen Hunter launched her Pocket Books/Simon & Schuster imprint two years ago. At the time, the Pulitzer Prize-winning scribe had no plans to enlist Harris as one of her writers – that is until he called her in January for business advice. With his editor gone from Random House, the 54 year-old was itching to make a change.

    What Hunter, who has penned New York Times best sellers for the likes of Karrine Steffans, LL Cool J and Wendy Williams, said she remembers most is the Detroit native’s giving spirit.

    “It was ironic that he called me out of the blue,” the former New York Daily News columnist told BV Newswire yesterday. “He got my number from one of my other authors, and after I listened to what he was going through, I was in a position to help him. The next week, we put together a contract and were able to buy ‘Mama Dearest.’”

    ‘Mama Dearest’ ended up being his final tome. It features the return of one of Harris’ most popular characters, Yancey Harrington Braxton, and ventures away from the taboo theme of down-low gay black men that has been consistent throughout his novels. Instead, he tells the story of a mother and daughter.

    Harris remains the first and only Black author to date to have 10 back-to-back New York Times best-selling novels. Yet, his stories have not translated to the big screen like the works of other black novelists such as Terry McMillan (‘Waiting to Exhale’) or even Toni Morrison (‘Beloved’). “He talked to me about what he was going to do in L.A. with the movie, but he was disheartened he didn’t have the big movies like Terry, who is like his contemporary in terms of writing style,” Hunter revealed. “He wanted to see his books translated to the big screen.”

    She noted, “It’s a weird thing with us. The gay issue and the stigma within the black community is still a tough one to overcome. I can’t name a blockbuster successful movie that had a gay love scene with men.”

    Shortly before his death, Harris was said to have taken meetings to discuss a possible movie based on one of his novels, in addition to working to develop a play based on his debut, ‘Invisible Life,’ with Ashford & Simpson.

    Ultimately, Hunter, who is busy penning Janet Jackson‘s autobiography and her own book, called ‘Niggardly,’ wants the tour to remind people of what a special person Harris was. Though she only knew him for a short time, she said the way he lived his life truly touched her.

    “From a writing standpoint, he broke down many barriers, and I think his biggest legacy will be bringing authors together,” she said. “This tour came about because I was getting so many phone calls [from people saying] ‘What can I do?’ Everybody has an E. Lynn story of generosity and giving and reaching back.”

    “His death is not to be in vain,” Hunter added. “And we have to keep that mission of bringing people together alive, and I think watching all of these great authors take time out, and they are stopping their own [book] tours, to pay tribute to him is something we can definitely continue.”

    E. Lynn Harris Day Celebrations Across the USA

    BALTIMORE
    Barnes & Noble @ 7 p.m.
    1819 Reisterstown Rd.
    Phone: 410-415-5758
    Hosted by: Tracie Howard

    BIRMINGHAM, ALA
    Books-A-Million @ 7 p.m.
    140 Wildwood Pkwy
    Phone: 205-942-4220
    Hosted by: Brandon Harris

    CLEVELAND
    Joseph Beth @ 7 p.m.
    Legacy Village
    24519 Cedar Rd.
    Phone: 216- 912-1975
    Hosted by: Lolita Files

    CHICAGO
    Borders @ 7 p.m.
    2210 W. 95th St.
    Phone: 773-445-5471
    Hosted by: Yolanda Jo

    DALLAS
    Barnes & Noble @ 7 p.m.
    7700 West Northwest Hwy
    Phone: 214-739-1124
    Hosted by: Mary B. Morrison

    DETROIT
    Borders @ 7 p.m.
    5601 Mercury Drive
    Dearborn, MI 48126
    Phone: 313-271-4441
    Hosted by: Terrance Dean

    HOUSTON
    Barnes & Noble @ 7 p.m.
    7626 Westheimer
    Phone: 713-783-6016
    Hosted by: ReShonda Tate Billingsley

    JACKSONVILLE, FLA
    Books-A-Million @ 7 p.m.
    25A 1910 Wells Rd.
    Orange Park, FL
    Phone: 904-215-2300
    Hosted by: Tina McElroy Ansa

    LITTLE ROCK, AK
    Presented by Pyramid Books
    The Mosaic Templars Cultural Center @ 6:30 p.m.
    500 West Ninth St.
    Phone: 501-372-5824
    Hosted by: Celia Anderson and Rhonda Holmes

    LIVINGSTON, N.J.
    Barnes & Noble @ 7 p.m.
    Livingston Mall
    112 Eisenhower Pkwy
    Phone: 973-758-1310
    Hosted by: Karen Hunter and Dr. LaJoyce Brookshire

    LOS ANGELES
    ESO Won Books @ 7 p.m.
    4311 Degnan Blvd.
    Phone: 323-290-1048
    Hosted by: Tananarive Due and Eric Jerome Dickey

    NEW ORLEANS
    Afro-American Book Stop @ 5:30 p.m.
    7056 Read Blvd.
    Phone: 504-243-2436
    Hosted by: Clarence Nero and Ms. Dupre

    NEW YORK
    Borders @ 7 p.m.
    10 Columbus Circle
    Phone: 212- 823-9775
    Hosted by: Erika Kendrick and Sean Lewis

    PHILADELPHIA
    Borders 21 @ 12:30 p.m.
    1 S. Broad, Suite 100
    Phone: 215-568-7400
    Hosted by: Brenda L. Thomas

    SAVANNAH, GA
    Barnes & Noble @ 7 p.m.
    7804 Abercorn Ext.
    Phone: 912-353-7757
    Hosted by: Dr. Bertice Berry

    WASHINGTON, D.C.
    Borders @ 7 p.m.
    931 Capital Centre Blvd.
    Largo, MD 20744
    Phone: 301-499-2173
    Hosted by: Victoria Christopher Murray and Kimberla Lawson Roby

     

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  • Dr. Boyce Talks Money and Sex on ABC News

    Filed under: ,

    I recently appeared on ABC News to talk about Financial Lovemaking, and the link between sex and money. I’ve discussed relationships and money several times on AOL in the past, but I think that I should quickly lay out some very interesting similarities that may not have crossed your mind. As I teach my Personal Finance Class at Syracuse University this semester, I am reminded that managing our money is linked to managing our love, which is critical to the ultimate goal of effectively managing our lives.

    1) Many people think about both sex and money every single day. Don’t lie, you know you enjoy thinking about sex, even if you aren’t getting any. But chances are, you also think about money, whether it’s figuring out how to get what you need or how to keep what you’ve got. Even most rappers spend all their time talking about either sex, money or how they use their money to get more sex. It’s actually a universal concept.

    2) Both sex and money can make you feel good. If I wrote you a check for a million dollars, you’d probably end up having a good day. If I offered you the sexiest person you could think of to do as you wish, you might have an even better day. Both sex and money have the effect of giving us a natural high that leads to human beings spending their lives obsessed with obtaining both commodities.

    3) Both sex and money can devastate you if you are irresponsible. Promiscuous sex can lead to a life of disease and drama. Promiscuous spending can lead to a life of financial turmoil. Both sex and money, being the powerful drugs that they are, should be managed with both responsibility and moderation. They are both meant to be enjoyed, but not meant to be abused.

    4) It’s scary to share either one of them with another party. Your body is valuable, so you don’t want to share it with the wrong person. Your money is valuable too, so the same logic applies. Sharing your financial or sex life with the wrong person can lead to years of regret. Emotional, physical and financial investments are all quite risky.

    5) Both sex and money require trust if you are engaged with another person. I’ve heard women talk about financial betrayal by their partners in the same context as emotional betrayal. If you trust someone with your money, you are trusting them with your life. The same is true when it comes to trusting them with your body.

    6) It’s no fun to share either your sex or your money with someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing. Sex is better with someone who knows how to do it right. Well, sharing your financial future with someone who knows what they’re doing can actually lead to dramatic improvements in your quality of life. So, when you consider how good a person looks or how great they make you feel, also consider how great they can make you feel in the long run by providing both financial and emotional security, which can effectively be the same thing.

    7) One is often used to obtain the other. On average, guys with more money get more sexual opportunities and those who give good sex could use it to get their bills paid if they wanted to (Come on, let’s be honest here – what’s the oldest profession in the world again?). There are biological reasons that men with greater access to resources tend to make better mating options for women. The rapper Ludacris noticed how he suddenly went from “ah-ight” to “handsome” when he started to make money. That’s to be expected.

    In the episode of ABC News below, we talk about these links between sex and money in more detail. Enjoy!

    Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and author of “Financial Lovemaking 101: Merging Assets with Your Partner in Ways that Feel Good.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.

     

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  • Rubio says NBA move was too risky (AP)

    FILE -- This is a june 25, 2009, file photo showing NBA commissioner David Stern, left, posing with Ricky Rubio(notes), of Spain, after being picked fifth overall by the Minnesota Timberwolves during the first round of the NBA basketball draft, in New York. Timberwolves president David Kahn says Spanish point guard Ricky Rubio has backed out of a deal to play in Minnesota this season. Kahn says the Wolves negotiated a deal on Saturday night with Rubio's Spanish pro team and agent Dan Fegan to bring the 18-year-old to Minnesota this fall. But Rubio informed Kahn on Monday night, Aug. 31, 2009, that he would prefer to stay in his homeland for two more years to better prepare himself for the NBA.

    Ricky Rubio wants to keep playing basketball in Spain, saying a move to the Minnesota Timberwolves would be too risky and complicate his life. The 19-year-old point guard was sent from DKV Joventut to Barcelona on Tuesday after the Catalan club paid Rubio's $5 million buyout clause. Rubio, the Timberwolves' fifth overall pick in this year's draft, agreed to a six-year deal that included…

  • Boone back 5 months after heart surgery (AP)

    Aaron Boone returned to the major leagues Tuesday, rejoining the Houston Astros just five months after having open-heart surgery. The 36-year-old third baseman was activated off the disabled list. "It's good to be in this position and back here after all that has gone through in my life this year.

  • Can Dating Standards Be “Too” High?


    Everyone must have standards. Your standards become the criteria used to compare the men or women that come into your life to see if they measure up. If you don’t have standards, you’ll risk becoming involved with married or other emotionally unavailable sorts. You also risk developing an attachment to someone that you know is totally wrong for you.

  • Tips For Dating An Older Woman

    For mature women dating can be a difficult prospect. Life can be a challenge in many respects, from maintaining a career to maintaining a healthy social and dating life. Demands on our time and our abilities are higher than ever. The pace of life is faster, and the potential pitfalls can be greater, particularly as we get older.

    This can be especially true for a mature woman, particularly one who is coming out of a long-term marriage and now suddenly finds herself on her own. Single again, on their own, many older women are frightened when faced with the prospects of seeking out a new intimate relationship. They fear the potential roadblocks to cultivating a new and healthy relationship, and these fears often unnecessarily stand in their way of finding a loving partner.

    Fear can be a debilitating problem for mature women dating in today’s society, and unfortunately those fears are often unfounded. Senior women are looked on in a different light these days, not simply relegated to living up to the stereotype of a woman who should put her sexual life behind her. Indeed, older women are considered more vital and healthy than ever before; by wide segments of the population. Which means that these new levels of acceptance should encourage mature women to put aside their fears and concerns and actively pursue a healthy dating relationship.

    Some mature women dating men, whether they happen to be of similar age or even younger, are demanding more from their relationships. Expectations are higher because more mature women no longer are accepting of the old society rules which say that an older woman should be more reserved and modest. These days, older women are more and more participating in healthy activities like exercise and good nutrition.

    Older women are maintaining and even improving their minds and bodies, and are now refusing to deny that they continue to be sexual beings. In years past, such an assertive and aggressively vital older woman might have been considered in a negative light. Today, the healthy desires of a mature woman dating a man, older or younger, are earning well-deserved respect.

    All of this means that men who are actively seeking a relationship with a more mature woman had better be prepared to take on the challenge. Older and active women are demanding more from their dates, they are no longer simply happy to “get out of the house”. They want to be respected and appreciated and thought of as sophisticated in ways that were once reserved for the typical older distinguished gentlemen.

    Their potential mates should be on notice that the senior and single women of today expect to be highly valued by their partners. And in fact, that’s exactly how it should be. Older women need no longer accept “something less” from their intimate relationships. Despite the many challenges and potential pitfalls, for mature women dating can be fun, exciting, thrilling and fulfilling.

  • RASHEED IS BACK, YOU BUM ASS NI**UH!!

    Posted by: Rasheed Young

    So, I’m in my office, minding my business and in comes my boss Russell. He’s wearing American Classics pique shirt which retails for $14 at Wal-Mart. I must admit, the shirt was fly! I had on my Billionaire Boys Club Stripped Helmet Polo which retails for $130. Now before I continue, the RUSH offices are family oriented. There’s so much love in this office its ridiculous! Now back to my story. Would you believe in the midst of the conversation Russ called me a “Bum A** Nizzle”. My funniest humble response him was “Now this is what I’m trying to explain!”. I know that response sounds silly but we laughed so hard you would’ve thought Dave Chapelle told his best joke. Now although my shirt was more expensive, the $14 American Classic shirt was the better looking one! I could’ve brought 10 of the American Classics shirts, and I would’ve, had I known. 
    Check out http://www.americanclassicsbrand.com/


    The point I’m trying to make is that humility breeds success. Its obvious I knew he was joking when he made the comment, which actually made several colleagues laugh and feel rejuvenated at end of day. Life teaches us things in funny ways. I realized that its so important to keep your head down and do the work at all times. Its better to see the beautiful things in life than focusing on the negative things. But this can only happen if your willing to be ego free and willing to learn. I’m happy that Russell has taught me to breathe, smile and show love always. In the words of Russell “Be still. See God everywhere.”

    Rasheed Young

    Follow me @Hasenpfefferinc

     

  • Ex-Reporter Trades Scandal for Coaching

    McLEAN, Va. ? Jayson Blair knows his new profession ? life coach ? smacks some people in the face like a bad punchline.

    “People say, ‘Wait a minute. You’re a life coach?’ That makes no sense,’” says Blair, the ex-journalist best known for foisting plagiarism and fabrications into the pages of The New York Times. “Then they think about my life experiences and what I’ve been through and they say ‘Wait a minute. It does make sense.’”