Filed under: Personal Finance, News
I have daughters and I love them all. They are all at “that age,” between 16 and 20, where they tend to love the boys that you want to beat down the most. Every time I hear them express their undying love for Lil Wayne, I can only think about him having 3 women pregnant at the same time. When I see a Chris Brown poster in their room, I remind them that Chris was accused of having boxing practice on Rihanna’s face.
But as a father, you can’t protect your daughters from themselves. Some things they have to learn on their own. And if sleeping with a pants-saggin, “purple stuff dranking,” gold grill wearing, 10,000 tattoo having buffoon is the way they need to learn their lessons, you just kinda have to deal with it.I empathize with Wade Edwards, the man accused of shooting a boy for sleeping with his step daughter. Wade shot the boy four times, aiming for the “relevant zone” with each bullet. But while I can understand Wade’s anger, I do not, for one second, condone his actions.
You see Wade, it takes two people to “get busy.” If your daughter was choosing to sleep with this boy, that was her bad decision, not yours. Sure, it was disrespectful for them to get naked under your roof, but fathers have been getting furious about this kind of thing since the beginning of time. Sex is a powerful drug, the essence of the existence of all mankind, so the urge of human attraction can be strong enough to lead to seemingly deviant behavior.
The problem for Wade, however, is one that merges with the lessons we teach in Financial Lovemaking: Allowing your love for another person to cause you to do things that are going to be financially and emotionally devastating for your family. Wade might feel that he was somehow protecting his daughter (he claims that it was self defense, but I don’t buy that logic), but the truth is that he has now dragged his family into a draining legal drama that is going to cost them thousands in attorney’s fees and even more financial loses when one of the primary providers for the household has to spend his time in prison.
Any father can relate to how Edwards might have been feeling. Also, every father has to wonder how far he would go to protect his children. I personally would give my life to save my daughters and not think twice about it. At the same time, I would not allow myself to go to prison to keep my daughters from having sex. Sexuality is a natural part of life, even when we feel that the person is too young to be doing it. Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about; you probably did it too.
The episode of Financial lovemaking is below. Enjoy!
Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and author of “Financial Lovemaking 101: Merging Assets with Your Partner in Ways that Feel Good.” To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.
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